Pictures of Lily

A dragonfly hovers above the reeds and I can see its wings shimmering in the sunshine. I’d forgotten how beautiful this place is.
    I sit in silence for a long time until eventually I come to my senses to see hundreds and thousands of tiny black ants swarming around my feet. A man on an orange ride-on lawnmower appears at the edge of the pond, shattering my peace and quiet. It’s time to move on.
    Yes, it’s time to move on. Really. In every sense. Ben left ten years ago.
    Why are you still waiting for him?
    I think of Richard sleeping soundly in bed this morning, his brown hair flat on one side from being squashed into the pillow, and I’m filled with an overwhelming sense of love for him. I suddenly want to be back in the hotel in his arms.
    I hurry away from the pond with purpose, trying to pull my whole heart with it, but a piece of it tears off and remains. As I always knew it would.

Chapter 21
     
    Towards the end of April, my dad, Lorraine and my three half-sisters arrive for a two-week holiday. It’s been a strange couple of weeks working back on reception after my time at Marbles , followed by the two days I had to take off to attend the funeral in Adelaide. It’s been fine – in fact, it’s been quite nice because most of the Marbles clan now smile and say hello to me on their way in. I feel like I’m a part of their little family somehow, even though of course I’m not. I have experienced a few insecurities, wondering if I should be buying coffees on my way in, but then I tell myself to get a grip. Plus Nicola and Mel were quick to reveal that Cara, my temporary replacement, had a really annoying laugh. She also hated soup and Tim Tams, so that didn’t go down too well.
    It’s overcast and windy on the day my family touch down in Sydney. I go to meet them after work on Friday for an early-evening meal at their hotel. They only arrived this morning and are feeling worn out and jetlagged, so I don’t drag Richard into the city for the sake of a couple of hours. He’s off tomorrow on the surfing trip with Nathan and a bunch of people. Monday is Anzac Bank Holiday, so he won’t be back until late Monday night.
    My family are staying in a flat in the Rocks area. Dad called earlier to tell me the number of their flat, so I don’t have to report to reception on my way in. My heels click over the polished floor of the spacious lobby and I press the button to call the gilded lift.
    As a senior accountant, my dad is pretty well off. And Lorraine hasn’t done badly for herself either, with her interior design business. My sisters don’t want for much. I try not to think about the fact that they now live in a six-bedroom house in Sussex that would have had more than enough space to accommodate me ten years ago. Things were different back then.
    ‘That’s her!’ I hear one of my sisters – Olivia, I think – scream from inside the flat. A stampede of footsteps races for the door and it bursts open, revealing Olivia and Isabel’s beaming faces. A split-second later I’m being suffocated by their embraces. I can’t stop laughing.
    ‘Let Lily come in,’ my dad gently berates them as he untangles his daughters’ limbs from mine and pulls me in for a hug. ‘How are you, my girl?’ he says into my hair.
    ‘I’m fine, thanks, Dad,’ I reply, feeling the hot pricking of tears behind my tightly shut eyelids. It always hurts to see him after such a long time of being apart. He looks older, I realise with a pang. His grey hair has thinned out and his wrinkles seem more pronounced. ‘Where’s Kay?’
    ‘Here,’ Kay answers me, stepping into the hall. My eyes widen in surprise, but I quickly recover as I sweep her into my arms. She’s grown so tall in the last two years! And so slim and beautiful! She’s no longer a little girl.
    She pulls away, slightly embarrassed.
    ‘How was your flight?’ I ask.
    ‘Long,’ Kay replies with a wry grin, and a memory comes back to me of that question being asked of me time and time again when I first moved to Australia.
    ‘I watched five movies on the plane,’ Isabel butts in.
    ‘ Five ? Didn’t you get any sleep?’ I fake outrage.
    ‘Nope,’ she says happily.
    ‘Hello, Lily.’ It’s Lorraine.
    ‘Hey!’ I say, going to give her a hug.
    ‘I thought I’d better come out here as this is clearly where the action is.’ She laughs and indicates the tiny hallway.
    ‘Sorry, shall we come through?’ I point towards the living room.
    ‘Yes, come