Play With Me

lately.”
    Okay, I was
almost seventeen, had never been kissed, and I had all I was going to take from
my best friend. “Are you really that ignorant? I’m not doing this for
Hunter.”
    “Then why?”
    Christ forgive
me, I was going to slap him in a moment. “I’m doing this because of you!”
    My heart stopped
the moment I understood my slip.
    Tony’s mouth
hung open as he stared at me. He gripped the metal of the handle bar, closing
his fingers so hard the white showed around the knuckles. Not quite the
reaction I had prayed for the past five or so years.
    His gaze
dropped, his eyes trained to the ground in front of him. That was an eerie
moment. Heck, I didn’t think something could shock Tony so much. Anything.
Especially me. Okay, the hope that he would be all smiles and kiss me for my
close declaration of love had slipped with his look, but his stunned silence
made me feel very uncomfortable. I wished I was a snowman and could melt right
now.
    “Come here, Liza,”
he finally said.
    No. I waited a couple of seconds, struggling to get rid of the panic
setting in. When I didn’t obey, he stepped off his bike and came toward me, the
slowness only adding to my anxiety.
    “Look—”
    I shook my head,
begging him to stop. “Please don’t give me that shit of you’re like my
little sister now.”
    “I won’t.
Because we both know you’re far closer than that.”
    Oh my God, this
was going downhill, and there was nothing to stop the avalanche I had kicked
loose. My knees shook all of a sudden, my mouth went dry.
    Tony reached out
but stopped before he would touch my cheek. His lips pressed together, he
withdrew his hand. “I’m dating Cloey.”
    What? No. Not
that girl. Not any girl! No!
    In deliberate
movements, I backed off then walked into the house, not saying a word. With the
screaming pain inside my soul, I quietly closed the door. It was all I could do
not to break out in tears in front of Tony.
    I couldn’t
breathe. My stomach knotted, making me sick. As the first tears started to fall,
I flew into my bathroom and dry-heaved into the toilet.
    Tony shouldn’t
see me like this, ever. I wished I could say he understood and that’s why he
didn’t follow me. But with everything that happened, it probably was he didn’t
want to face me after my declaration of my feelings for him.
    It took hours
until I could breathe again without my throat constricting and aching. I sat on
my bed, flipping through the many photo books I had made of us over the years.
Each time I turned a page, I wanted to rage and cry again about the loss that
ripped my insides apart. But I had shed all the tears I was capable of. I felt
completely empty. Hollow. Alone.
    When Mom called
me to dinner and I told her I wasn’t hungry, she tried to make me talk in her
understanding way. I had a hard time convincing her that I just wanted to be
left alone. In the end she let me be, and I locked myself into my room. In my personal
realm of misery.
    As the sun set
and I slumped on my bed with some heavy rave music on the iPod, I faced another
problem.
    I wasn’t going
to play soccer anymore. Ever. And I needed to cancel on Hunter’s training the
next day.
    I called Simone
and got his cell phone number, but I wasn’t in the mood to talk to anyone, so I
sent him a text message.
    DON’T NEED TO
TRAIN TOMORROW. AND I WANT OFF THE TEAM. LIZA
    But then, as far
as I knew, he only knew my last name, so I added MATTHEWS in brackets.
    It didn’t take
long for my message to be answered. DOES IT HURT SO MUCH?
    What kind of
question was that? The pain eating my insides killed me. I slammed the phone on
the nightstand and dropped onto my pillow with a snort. Seconds later, I realized
he actually had no idea what happened. He must mean something else. Of
course—my leg. Palm pressing to my brow, I breathed deep.
    Then I texted
him again. NO, LEG IS FINE. I’M JUST DONE WITH SOCCER. THANKS FOR YOUR HELP.
BYE
    I expected him
to accept that and leave me alone. He did…for fifteen minutes. Then the next
message came in. OKAY. TALKED TO MITCHELL. SO THE CAT’S OUT?
    The cat’s out?
Seriously? What the hell—Ryan knew about them dating and he didn’t tell me. But
then, what reason would he have had? We weren’t really friends, and he didn’t
know about my love for Tony.
    Or maybe he did.
M&M. Everyone knew it. I felt so terribly exposed right then. The entire
town knew about my obsession with this boy, while he dated this bimbo. The