Point of Retreat

half,” she says.
     
    I shake my head and laugh. “Go put those boys to bed. I’ll see you in a little while.”
     
    She kisses me goodbye and I head into the house and take a shower. A cold shower.
     
    When I get to her house an hour later, all the lights are off. I lock the door behind me and ease my way down the hallway and into her bedroom. She left the bedside lamp on for me. She’s lying in bed with her back toward me, so I climb in behind her and slide my arm under her head. I expect her to respond, but she’s out. She’s actually snoring. I brush her hair behind her ear and kiss the back of her head as I pull the covers around us both and close my eyes.
     

 
     
     
    Saturday, January 14 th , 2012
    I love being with you so bad
     
    When we aren’t together, I miss you so bad
     
    One of these days, I’m going to marry you so bad
     
    And it’ll be
     
    so
     
    so
     
    good.
     

 
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
    Chapter Five
     
    Lake was upset when she woke up Saturday morning and I was already gone. She says it wasn’t fair that she slept through our entire first sleepover. Regardless, I enjoyed it. I watched her sleep for a while before I went back home.
     
    We didn’t get into any more situations like the one in her bedroom Friday night. I think we’re both surprised at how intense things got; so we’re trying to avoid it happening again. Until this coming weekend, anyway. Saturday we spent the evening at Joel’s with Eddie and Gavin. Sunday, Lake and I did homework together. Pretty typical weekend.
     
    Now I’m sitting here in Death and Dying, being stared down by the only person I’ve ever had sex with. It’s awkward. The way Vaughn is acting, I feel like I really am hiding something from Lake. But telling her about Vaughn now would just prove that I wasn’t being completely honest the first week of school. The last thing I want to do before this weekend is upset Lake, so I decide to wait another week before I bring it up.
     
    “Vaughn, the professor is up there ,” I say, pointing to the front of the room. She continues to stare at me.
     
    “Will, you’re being a snob,” she whispers. “I don’t understand why you won’t just talk to me. If you were really over what happened between us, it wouldn’t bother you this much.”
     
    I can’t believe she honestly thinks I’m not over us. I’ve been over us since the day I first laid eyes on Lake.
     
    “I’m over us, Vaughn. It’s been three years. You’re over us, too. You just always want what you can’t have, and it’s pissing you off. It’s got nothing to do with me.”
     
    She folds her arms across her chest and sits back in her chair. “You think I want you?” She glares at me, then turns her attention to the front of the room. “Has anyone ever told you that you’re an asshole?” she whispers.
     
    I laugh. “As a matter of fact, yes. More than once.”
     
    ***
     
    Today is Kel and Caulder’s first day back to school since their suspension. They both climb in the car with defeated expressions across their faces. I eye the books spilling out of their backpacks and realize it’s going to be a night full of catching up on homework for the two of them. “I guess you guys learned your lesson,” I say, pulling out of the parking lot.
     
    Lake is walking out of my house when we get out of the car. It doesn’t bother me at all that she’s at my house when I’m not home, but I'm a little curious what she was doing while she was inside. She sees the confusion on my face as she walks toward me. She holds out her hand and reveals one of the stars that her mother made, resting in her palm.
     
    “Don’t judge me,” she says. She looks down at her palm and rolls the star around in her hand. “I just miss her today.”
     
    The look on her face makes me sad for her. I give her a quick hug, then watch her walk across the street and go back inside her house. She’s in need of alone time, so I give it to her. “Kel, stay over here for a while. I’ll help you guys with all your homework.”
     
    It takes us a couple of hours to finish the weeks’ worth of assignments that piled up while the boys were suspended. Gavin and Eddie are supposed to come over for dinner tonight, so I head to the kitchen to start cooking. We’re not having burgers tonight. I’m sure we’ll never have burgers again . I debate on whether or not I want to cook basagna, but decide against it. Honestly, I don’t even feel