Private Scandals

child.’ ”
    Annoyed with herself, Kate flicked a tear away. “And you see, since it had been difficult, even horrible, and because she was sympathetic, I broke down. Then she had me. She reminded me that it wouldn’t do for certain Hollywood brass to discover that I’d made this tiny mistake. Oh, she understood, she sympathized completely. But would they? Would the ticket-buying public who’d crowned me their valiant princess understand?”
    “Kate, you were seventeen.”
    Very slowly, Kate lifted her gaze to Deanna’s. “I was old enough to make a child, old enough to give her away. Old enough to pay for it. I hope I’m strong enough now to face the consequences.” She frowned at her glass. If she didn’t survive, if she crashed and burned, it would kill her. Angela had known that. “A few years ago, I wasn’t. It’s as simple as that. I don’t think I could have survived the hate mail then, or the tabloids, or the bad jokes.” She smiled again, but Deanna saw her pain. “I can’t say I’m looking forward to it now. But the simple fact is, the cops are bound to track me down. Sooner or later they’ll dig up Beeker and all of Angela’s nasty files. I’m going to choose my own time and place for my public announcement. I’d like to do it on your show.”
    Deanna blinked. “Excuse me?”
    “I said I’d like to do it on your show.”
    “Why?”
    “Two reasons. First, for me it would be the ultimate payback to Angela. You don’t like that one,” she murmured, seeing the disapproval in Deanna’s eyes. “You’ll like this better. I trust you. You’ve got class, and compassion. This isn’t going to be easy for me, and I’m going to need both. I’m scared.” She set her drink down. “I hate that reason, but I might as well admit it. I lost the child through my ambition,” she said quietly. “That’s gone,” she said fiercely. “I don’t want to lose what I’ve got, Deanna. What I’ve worked for.Angela’s just as dangerous to me dead as she was alive. At least I can pick my time and place this way. I’ve got a lot of respect for you. I always have. I’m going to have to talk about my private life, my personal griefs. I’d like to start off talking with someone I respect.”
    “We’ll juggle the schedule,” Deanna said simply. “And do it Monday morning.”
    Kate closed her eyes a moment, gathered what resources she had left. “Thanks.”
     
    The sleet had stopped by the time they arrived home, leaving the air chill and damp and gloomy. Clouds hovered, thick and black. There was a light on in one of the front windows, streaming gold through the glass in cozy welcome. The dog began to bark the moment Finn slipped the key into the lock.
    It should have been a homecoming. But there was the ever-present smell of paint reminding them their home had been violated. Drop cloths were spread in the hallway, and the dog’s barking echoed emptily. So many of the rooms had been cleared out of broken crockery, damaged furniture. It was like being greeted by a mortally ill friend.
    “We can still go to a hotel.”
    Deanna shook her head. “No, that’s only another way of hiding. I can’t help feeling responsible for this.”
    “Then work on it.”
    She recognized the impatience in his voice. She stooped to pet the dog as Finn peeled off his coat. “They were your things, Finn.”
    “Things.” He shoved his coat on the hall rack. In the mirrored surface he saw her head bent over the dog’s. “Just things, Deanna. Insured, replaceable.”
    She stayed where she was but lifted her head. Her eyes were wide and weary. “I love you so much. I hate knowing he was here, that he touched anything that was yours.”
    He crouched beside her, causing the dog to roll belly up in anticipation. But Finn took Deanna by the shoulders, his eyes suddenly fierce. “You are the only thing I havethat’s irreplaceable. The first time I met you, the first time, I knew that nothing that had happened to me before, or that would happen after, would mean as much. Can you understand that?” His hand moved roughly into her hair. “It’s overwhelming what I feel for you. It’s terrifying. And it’s everything.”
    “Yes.” She brought her hands to his face, guided his mouth to hers. “I can understand that.” Emotions welled up, pouring into the kiss so that her lips were urgent and edgy. Even as Finn tugged at her coat, the dog wriggled between them, whining.
    “We’re embarrassing