Public Secrets

for a freak.”
She held on to her temper. It was vital. She kept her voice soft and soothing. “I understand how you feel, Drew. A man like you, so virile.” She almost choked on the word. “But the benefit is going to be televised here, and in Europe. It’s the biggest thing since Live Aid. The money’s going to research a cure for exactly what Luke died of.” She paused, letting it sink in. “I can go with Johnno. Representing you,” she said quickly.
He looked up from the keys again, his eyes flat. Her heart began to pound. It was a look she knew, and feared. “Anxious to get away, are you, dear?”
“No.” She forced herself to move to him, to touch a hand to his hair. “I’d much rather you go with me.” She gritted her teeth. “We could go on down to the Keys afterward.”
“Dammit, Emma, you know I’m working. Typical of you to think only of yourself.”
“Of course. I’m sorry.” She backed off in a submission that was only partly an act. “It’s just that I’d love it if we could get away for a few days. Just the two of us. I’ll call Johnno and tell him I can’t make it.”

Drew considered a moment. The benefit was the break he needed. He intended to dump Birdcage Walk and strike out solo. He was the star, after all, and the rest of the group was holding him back.
He needed big exposure, and lots of interested press. If a funeral could help him along, that was fine. In any case, he wanted nothing more than to get rid of Emma for a day or two.
“I think you should go.”
Her heart nearly stopped. Be careful, she warned herself. Don’t make a mistake. “Then you’ll come?”
“No. But I think you can manage one day on your own. Especially if Johnno takes care of you. Make sure to weep copiously and say all the right things about the tragedy of AIDS.”

S HE WORE A simple black suit. Since Drew watched her every move, she couldn’t take anything else. She’d hardly need fancy duds for a spot of mourning, would she? he asked. She was allowed a pair of black pumps and an oversized purse that would double as a carry-on. He even checked through her cosmetics bag while she sat on the bed.
Since he’d locked her passport up, and taken her credit cards away—you really are careless about such matters, Emma—she was totally dependent upon him. He made her flight arrangements. A round-trip. He’d given her fourteen hours of freedom. Her flight left LaGuardia at nine-fifteen, and she was due back at ten twenty-five the same evening. He’d generously allotted her forty dollars in cash. She’d stolen fifteen more, feeling like a thief, from the housekeeping money. She’d tucked it in her shoe. Now and again she wiggled her toes, felt it, and was struck with excitement and shame.
She was lying to him.
Don’t ever lie to me, Emma. I’ll always find out the truth and punish you .
She was never coming back.
Don’t ever try to leave me, Emma. I’ll find you. I’ll always find you and you’ll be sorry .
She was running away.
You’ll never run fast enough to get away from me, Emma. You belong to me. You need me to take care of you because you make so many stupid mistakes .
“Emma. Dammit, Emma, pay attention.”

She jerked when he tugged hard on her hair. “I’m sorry.” Her fingers gripped together, twisting, wringing.
“You’re such a damn fool. God knows where you’d be without me.”
“I was … thinking about Luke.”
“Well, save the long face until you’re gone. It makes me sick. Johnno’s going to be here any minute to get you.” He leaned close so that his face was all she could see. “What are you going to tell him if he asks how things are?”
“That they’re fine. They’re wonderful. You’re sorry you can’t come, but you felt since you didn’t know Luke, you’d be intruding.” She recited the instructions he gave her like a parrot. “I’ve got to come back straight from the service because you’ve got a touch of the flu and I want to take care of you.”
“Just like a devoted wife.”
“Yes. A devoted wife.”
“Good.” It was disgusting really, how cowed she was. She hadn’t even uttered a peep when he’d knocked her around the night before. He’d wanted her to leave with his dominance fresh in her mind. Of course, he’d been careful not to hit her in the face, or anywhere it might show. He intended to give her a proper beating when she got back. Just to remind her that a woman’s place was in the home.
His mother’s place had been