Pyramids

shut up, Cheesewright,” shouted Chidder. “It’d be a better world if more people said their prayers, you know. I know I don’t say mine as often as I should—”
    A pillow cut him off in mid-sentence. He bounded out of bed and vaulted at the red-haired boy, fists flailing.
    As the rest of the dormitory gathered around the scuffling pair Teppic slid out of bed and padded over to Arthur, who was sitting on the edge of his bed and sobbing.
    He patted him uncertainly on the shoulder, on the basis that this sort of thing was supposed to reassure people.
    “I shouldn’t cry about it, youngster,” he said, gruffly.
    “But—but all the runes have been scuffed,” said Arthur. “It’s all too late now! And that means the Great Orm will come in the night and wind out my entrails on a stick!”
    “Does it?”
    “And suck out my eyes, my mother said!”
    “Gosh!” said Teppic, fascinated. “Really?” He was quite glad his bed was opposite Arthur’s, and would offer an unrivalled view. “What religion would this be?”
    “We’re Strict Authorized Ormits,” said Arthur. He blew his nose. “I noticed you don’t pray,” he said. “Don’t you have a god?”
    “Oh yes,” said Teppic hesitantly, “no doubt about that.”
    “You don’t seem to want to talk to him.”
    Teppic shook his head. “I can’t,” he said, “not here. He wouldn’t be able to hear, you see.”
    “ My god can hear me anywhere,” said Arthur fervently.
    “Well, mine has difficulty if you’re on the other side of the room,” said Teppic. “It can be very embarrassing.”
    “You’re not an Offlian, are you?” said Arthur. Offler was a Crocodile God, and lacked ears.
    “No.”
    “What god do you worship, then?”
    “Not exactly worship,” said Teppic, discomforted. “I wouldn’t say worship. I mean, he’s all right. He’s my father, if you must know.”
    Arthur’s pink-rimmed eyes widened.
    “You’re the son of a god ?” he whispered.
    “It’s all part of being a king, where I come from,” said Teppic hurriedly. “He doesn’t have to do very much. That is, the priests do the actual running of the country. He just makes sure that the river floods every year, d’you see, and services the Great Cow of the Arch of the Sky. Well, used to.”
    “The Great—”
    “My mother,” explained Teppic. “It’s all very embarrassing.”
    “Does he smite people?”
    “I don’t think so. He’s never said.”
    Arthur reached down to the end of the bed. The goat, in the confusion, had chewed through its rope and trotted but of the door, vowing to give up religion in future.
    “I’m going to get into awful trouble,” he said. “I suppose you couldn’t ask your father to explain things to the Great Orm?”
    “He might be able to,” said Teppic doubtfully. “I was going to write home tomorrow anyway.”
    “The Great Orm is normally to be found in one of the Nether Hells,” said Arthur, “where he watches everything we do. Everything I do, anyway. There’s only me and mother left now, and she doesn’t do much that needs watching.”
    “I’ll be sure and tell him.”
    “Do you think the Great Orm will come tonight?”
    “I shouldn’t think so. I’ll ask my father to be sure and tell him not to.”
    At the other end of the dormitory Chidder was kneeling on Cheesewright’s back and knocking his head repeatedly against the wall.
    “Say it again,” he commanded. “Come on—‘There’s nothing wrong—’”
    “‘There’s nothing wrong with a chap being man enough—’ curse you, Chidder, you beastly—”
    “I can’t hear you, Cheesewright,” said Chidder.
    “‘Man enough to say his prayers in front of other chaps,’ you rotter.”
    “Right. And don’t you forget it.”
    After lights out Teppic lay in bed and thought about religion. It was certainly a very complicated subject.
    The valley of the Djel had its own private gods, gods which had nothing to do with the world outside. It had always been very proud of the fact. The gods were wise and just and regulated the lives of men with skill and foresight, there was no question about that, but there were some puzzles.
    For example, he knew his father made the sun come up and the river flood and so on. That was basic, it was what the pharaohs had done ever since the time of Khuft, you couldn’t go around questioning things like that. The point was, though, did he just make the sun come up in the Valley or everywhere in the world? Making