Red Phoenix

vision, even though I had my eyes closed. My ears filled with roaring. My head was full of razor-sharp steel knives. Then something went click. Everything went quiet. It was perfectly dark and silent.
    ‘Broke through,’ the Tiger said softly. ‘Will you look at that.’
    ‘Stay very still, Emma,’ Ms Kwan said. ‘Don’t attempt to move, physically or mentally. Just stay very still.’
    ‘What is your name?’ John said.
    ‘Emma,’ I said softly, and gasped. I heard two voices say the same thing.
    ‘Stay very still, Emma,’ Ms Kwan warned me again. ‘Try to keep control.’
    ‘You are a Serpent?’ John said.
    I didn’t say anything. Then I had to. ‘I’m your Lady, Xuan Wu. I love you.’ Those two voices again. Mine and somebody else’s. I realised: the snake was talking too.
    ‘Why are you here?’ John said.
    ‘To look after Simone, of course, silly,’ I said impatiently. I didn’t have any control over what I said. It just came out.
    ‘Have you ever seen anything like me before, guys?’ the Emma part of me said.
    ‘We are all shaking our heads: no,’ John said. He knew I couldn’t see.
    ‘What do I look like right now, John?’ I said quietly.
    None of them answered.
    ‘Make sure Leo doesn’t see me then,’ I hissed. Both voices hissed.
    I had a sudden thought. ‘Are you a demon?’ I asked myself, and Ms Kwan gasped. ‘I said no,’ I said.
    ‘Whoa,’ the Tiger said, his voice full of awe. ‘She really did do that, Ah Wu, I felt it. She asked herself a question, and then answered it truthfully.’
    ‘ Are you my Serpent ?’ John said fiercely.
    I stopped at that. ‘I don’t know,’ I said. ‘I have no idea what I am.’
    Suddenly I was filled with such anguish that I felt I would burst. Kwan Yin moaned in sympathy. She felt it too.
    ‘I don’t know what I am. I’m not a demon. But,’ my heart twisted, ‘I’m lost. Can you help me find my way home?’
    ‘I will do my best,’ John said gently. ‘What does your home look like? Where is it?’
    ‘It’s green and crystal and beautiful,’ I said. ‘It’s pure and bright and joyful. It’s full of love and kindness. And I miss it so much I want to die.’
    ‘I wish you hadn’t done this to me,’ the Emma part of me added softly. ‘I can see it. It will haunt my dreams until I find it.’
    ‘I’m sorry I did this to you, Emma,’ the Tiger said. ‘I feel your pain.’
    ‘Simone and John are enough for me until I find it,’ I said. ‘And poor Leo, who is scared to death of me.’
    ‘Will you leave us if you find it?’ John said, his voice full of grief. ‘Will you leave us if you find your home?’
    ‘I don’t know,’ I whispered. I shook myself. ‘John, Leo’s outside the door. He has the stuff. He’s terrified. But he needs to face his fear. He needs to do this. He will have to get used to me, now that I am here. Let him in. Ms Kwan, let him in, and hold his hand. I need to talk to him.’
    I still couldn’t see anything. But I heard the door open. Ms Kwan moved and Leo bellowed with terror.
    ‘Hold, Leo,’ I said firmly, with both voices. I felt him freeze. I saw his face with my eyes closed. I saw right through him. I saw his dread.
    ‘Approach,’ I said. ‘Don’t be afraid.’
    He stood still for a long time. ‘Kwan Yin,’ I said. She nodded, and moved to help him. I blindly sensed them approach me. Every step was a million miles for Leo.
    ‘Touch me,’ I said softly. ‘Please, Leo, touch me.’
    It was the hardest thing he’d ever done in his life. It took reserves of courage that he didn’t even know he possessed. He truly was terrified of me. The poor man was more than scared of snakes; he had a phobia. He was mortally afraid of them…of us. But he reached out and touched me anyway, helped by Kwan Yin, who understood.
    ‘Let go, Lady,’ I said softly. Leo flinched. He was sure I would strike him down and kill him.
    ‘You are a stupid asshole, Leo. It’s just me.’ And I showed him. I showed him right through.
    ‘Holy shit,’ Leo said quietly.
    ‘You know, that’s the first time I’ve ever heard you use any sort of bad language?’ I said with delight. ‘For a Navy guy you really don’t fit the stereotype.’
    ‘I try not to fit any sort of stereotype,’ he growled. His voice softened. ‘What are you, Emma?’
    ‘Apart from what you see, Leo, which I can’t see myself right now, ‘cause I’m completely blind,’ I said, ‘I have absolutely no