Red Phoenix

backwards on the couch and threw himself on top of me. He held me down by the throat. I nearly panicked but I tried to control it; he wasn’t choking me, he just held me.
    ‘John. John. What are you doing?’
    He didn’t hear me, his face had twisted into a fierce grimace. I didn’t struggle; he could easily snap my neck. I tried to lie very still but my heart raced.
    He grabbed the front of my shirt, pulled it upwards and ripped it off me, chafing the skin of my back. He shifted sideways slightly and did the same to my jeans; grabbed, pulled, ripped them away. His black eyes didn’t focus on me.
    He released my throat but I didn’t move; I didn’t risk fighting back.
    I touched his cheek, trying to snap him out of it. He grabbed my wrist, thrust it over my head and pinned it to the couch. He held it, grabbed my other hand, and put it over my head as well. He pinned both of my hands in one of his, his grip like steel. He breathed heavily, his eyes hard and black and glittering above mine. His hair hung like a curtain around our faces.
    He shifted on top of me and pinned me with his body. He tugged at his pants using his free hand.
    He pushed himself hard onto me and forced his knee between my legs. He moved his forearm across my throat to hold me down. His other hand held my handsabove my head. I was unable to move and barely able to breathe as he forced himself on me, black eyes glittering, face fierce and terrible.
    I didn’t try to move. I didn’t try to fight him. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t do anything. I was completely defenceless. He had me.
    When his eyes returned to normal he pulled back to study me, his face expressionless. He threw himself off me, fixed his clothes, and stalked to the window. He brushed his hair out of his face to watch the desert.
    I rose as well. I didn’t bother with my clothes; they were ruined. I shrugged off the remains and went to him. I stood behind and slightly to one side of him, leaned into him and put my arm around his waist.
    He silently leaned on the window frame, looking at the desert for a long time. I held him and waited.
    Finally he spoke, his voice very soft. ‘Did I hurt you? Are you injured?’
    ‘I’m fine. You didn’t hurt me at all.’
    He banged his palms on the stone of the window ledge, stalked back to the couch and threw himself to sit on it. He bent forward and put his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands. I followed and stood over him, waiting. He rubbed his hands over his face and looked up at me. He saw me without my clothes and his face went intense again. He looked away.
    I sat next to him and took one of his hands in both of mine. ‘You completely lost control, didn’t you? Both you and Ms Kwan said that could happen.’
    He studied his hand where I held it. ‘It’s been more than three years.’ His face went fierce. ‘I should have better control than that!’ He looked into my eyes. ‘I am so sorry, Emma. I could have hurt you.’
    I squeezed his hand. ‘Will it be like that every time?’
    ‘No, not every time. But sometimes…’ He hesitated. ‘Perhaps. I don’t want to hurt you. This is such a bad idea; having a human wife has always been a bad idea.’ His voice gained a very slight edge of despair. ‘I would understand if you were to change your mind now.’
    ‘So it won’t be like that every time?’
    ‘No. But sometimes it may be.’
    ‘Good,’ I said firmly. ‘Because if it was like that every single time, it would definitely be too much of a good thing.’
    His face went blank. Then he heard what I’d said and it filled with wonder. ‘You really are amazing sometimes.’
    ‘You’re pretty damn amazing yourself.’
    I levered myself over him so that I straddled his lap, and threw my arms around his neck. I moved my face very close to his and looked him in the eyes. ‘I want to see your eyes go black again. That was cool.’
    He wrapped his strong hands around my bare waist and his face became intense. ‘I’ll see what I can do.’
    ‘So soon?’
    He just smiled.
    I woke with a start. Someone lay next to me, facing away. Long, black shining hair. Smooth, muscular golden shoulders. I vaulted out of the bed and nearly brushed the ceiling as I somersaulted and landed lightly on the carpet nearly seven metres away. What the hell?
    He rolled over to see me. His eyes sparkled in the moonlight as he smiled. ‘That move needs some work, Emma. You have been concentrating far too much on the energy