Red Phoenix

I was too exhausted even to say something cutting.
    ‘What about Leo?’ John said.
    ‘Leo will live. I did my best. He has lost an awful lot of blood. You were right about Emma. She is remarkable.’
    ‘You owe me a gold coin,’ I whispered.
    Meredith continued, ignoring me. ‘But Leo will have a serious speech impediment. He will sound like he is profoundly deaf. And when I wake up again, I am going to go out and kill something.’
    John looked like he was about to say something, then changed his mind. He gestured down the hallway. ‘Go.’
    I was asleep before my head hit the pillow.
    I woke up. I was paralysed. I knew this: sleep paralysis. It happened when you were exhausted but something woke you. Your body was still asleep. It was still paralysed, like when you were asleep. But your mind was awake.
    Wonderful. I hoped nothing was there to get me, ‘cause I really couldn’t move.
    My consciousness struggled upwards. My body was made of lead.
    Oh my God. Turtle hotpot with vegetables. Roast tiger penis on yin-yang rice. Shredded snake broth with sliced pig’s ear. He looked at me when he said that. I needed to remember that.
    My consciousness drifted back down again.
    I waited for John in his office on the first floor of the Kensington house. He came in, quietly closed the door and then stood with his hands clasped behind his back. He strode over to the desk and stood behind his office chair. He leaned his arms on the back of the chair. The sunshine streamed through the first-floor window behind him and lit up his dark hair.
    I sat silently. I took a sip of the tea. I was perfectly calm.
    ‘Sometimes, Emma, I think you want to take a trip through the Ten Levels of Hell,’ John said. ‘What’s the big attraction?’
    ‘Don’t be ridiculous. Simone is the reason I do everything I do.’ I stopped and glared up at him. ‘I’ll make a trip through there anyway. I’m well aware of that.’
    He seemed surprised. ‘How come you know this?’
    ‘You people don’t keep your activities too much of a secret from the world at large, Xuan Wu,’ I said. ‘All I had to do was some research. There’s a great deal of misguided claptrap, but a lot of truth out there. I’ve been reading. I know.’
    ‘And you would still face that by choice?’
    I shrugged. ‘For Simone.’
    ‘He would try to win you over, you know,’ John said, looking me in the eyes, his voice still very mild. ‘But when he sees it is a waste of time, he will throw you to the Mothers.’
    ‘Simone would be safe.’
    ‘I would return to a gibbering husk of a woman with a mind pummelled into imbecility by their torture. What they did to Leo was just a tiny taste of their capabilities.’
    ‘Simone would still be safe,’ I said. ‘Look me right in the eye and tell me you wouldn’t have done exactly the same thing.’
    He sighed and sat across from me. He reached into his pocket, pulled out a gold coin, and slid it across the desk to me. He put his head in his hands, then rubbed his hands over his face. He leaned back to retie his hair.
    We were both thinking: I love you so damn much. One day this will all come together for us.
    ‘None of this would ever have happened if I had never married Michelle,’ he said. ‘If I had met you first, it could have been completely different. I would have been at full strength, able to train you and defend you. In a short time you would have had the capability to handle any demon. We would be Dark Lord and Dark Lady together on the undamaged Mountain. We would not be in this situation.’
    ‘How dare you!’ I shouted, furious. I leaned forward and thumped the table, making the tea slop out of the cup onto some of his papers. ‘If you had never married Michelle you would have never had Simone. I can see what Michelle was like, there’s a lot of her in Simone! She must have been a remarkable woman!’ My voice thickened. ‘You are such a bastard sometimes. How could you say such a thing?’
    He watched me silently for a while. Then he slid another gold coin to me.
    He smiled slightly. ‘You know, I am the one who is supposed to be cross with you .’ He leaned back and put his palms on the table. ‘Well, now you have this pact with the King, I suppose we both just have to make sure that you never use it.’
    ‘But it’s nice to know that it’s there just in case. And to know that red-headed bastard will keep his ugly nose out of this.’
    His face was still expressionless. ‘Will you