Redwood Bend

Dylan. I also think it’s a pretty convenient excuse to just bail out. You went to a lot of trouble to explain all this to me—that you just don’t want a relationship. You wanted what we had. And we had it. I’m not holding you here.”
“Katie, I called,” he said. “I gave you my number—I didn’t give it to very many people. I wanted you to call. I wanted us to stay in touch because maybe down the road… You mean a lot to me. I missed you like crazy. You’re the one who said our lives just don’t match.”
“Listen, Dylan, I don’t expect you to understand this—it’s just not a part of your lifestyle and it’s very old-fashioned, but I’m a mother and a woman who needs stability and permanence. This is my fault—I knew it was going to be a fling and I don’t have flings. I don’t have any practice at it. It was bound to work out the way it did. And I was bound to be unhappy about it. I didn’t realize when I was involved with you that a part of me hoped things would be different with me, with us. Dumb. You told me up front, that would never change. So, don’t worry—we’re all square. You can hit the road with a clear conscience—you have more temporary girlfriends waiting.”
He scowled. “Okay,” he said. “Okay, you’re pissed. I don’t blame you. I don’t have girlfriends waiting and I want to work this out with you. Maybe we can stay in touch or…something.”
“Dylan, I’m not the kind of girl you want to stay in touch with. I’m looking for something a little more committed. This is not your problem. You don’t have to make amends for just being yourself. I have no regrets about getting…” She almost said getting knocked up by you, but cleared her throat. “It was totally consensual. And I’m really sorry about Conner—he shouldn’t have done that. It’s inexcusable.”
“And why did he?” Dylan asked.
“He must have felt kind of bad for me,” she offered. “He’s very protective.”
“Why did he feel bad for you?”
“Probably because he thought my feelings were very hurt, which they were for a while. He thought I was depressed but actually I seem to have a little…” She slid her hand over her belly. “I guess I have a little bug in me. I haven’t been feeling so well. Better now, though. Nothing serious—just a temporary thing.” Should last about eight more months, she thought.
“Katie, I wanted to be so much more romantic. I wanted to let you know how much you got under my skin and how hard it was to leave you, but I thought I might never leave. Every time I got near you, I just couldn’t go. It was torture. Things were different with you!”
“Hmm,” she said. “Well, as sorry as I am for you, I think you’ve done a noble thing, coming here to apologize, but you can leave now. I know this is going to upset your feeling of being unique, but they write articles about your type in all the women’s magazines. Commitment phobia is almost a cliché.”
“Nice,” he said, sitting back. “May I have some ice before I go, please? For my face?”
She sighed. “I suppose. But then you have to go before the boys see you. They’re zoned out to the movie in the loft, maybe even asleep already.” She got up. She put some ice in a dish towel and brought it to him. “Let’s not drag this out.”
He pressed the ice against his eye. She could only see half his face when he talked. “The thing you don’t get, Katie, it’s not an excuse. I’m not proud of this. I probably qualify as some player—at least technically—because I don’t get into steady things. You have no idea how much I wish it wasn’t the case. My best friend is a married man with five kids, he’s like family to me. Except for my grandmother, the only real family I have. His house is where I spend every long weekend and holiday. I would trade a kidney for his life even though he’s always strapped for cash, usually tired, in constant demand at home, lives in perpetual chaos, but he’s always got a smile on his face. I’d give anything for that life.”
She wasn’t sure if she was being played right now or if he was sincere. She took a chance. “Do you expect me to feel sorry for you?”
“It wouldn’t hurt. And you might give me a chance to…I don’t know…check this out, this thing we have. I want to. I’ve never met a woman so hard to leave.” He took a breath.
“Okay, that’s too obvious. What do you want?”
“A second chance?”
“Oh? For how many days