Rescue Me

her cheeks with a tissue on the nightstand. Even in her raw grief, she couldn’t lie to herself. He hadn’t been a perfect dad, but neither had she been a perfect daughter. Their relationship had often been difficult, but she loved him. Loved him with a deep, soul-devastating ache. She took a breath past the pain in her chest and blew it out. “You did the best you could.” She understood that now. Understood it, given his own difficult past. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here when you passed. I’m sorry you were alone. I’m sorry about a lot of things.”
    She kissed his cool cheek. There was no reason to stay by his bedside. He wasn’t there. “I love you, Daddy.” Emotion clogged her throat and she managed a weak “Good-bye.”
    She moved out into the hall and made the difficult call to the JH. Vince stood beside her, his hand on her back as he spoke in a low tone to the nurses. Predictably, the Parton sisters fell apart, while Snooks and Tyrus were deeply saddened but not surprised. They were tough old cowboys like Clive and would make sure the JH ran smoothly like always.
    She didn’t know how she was going to live without her anchor, and over the next five days, she just went through the motions. She ate little and slept less. Her life was a blur. A numb, hazy blur of people stopping by the JH to talk and remember her father. A constant stream of casseroles and Clive stories. A fog of picking out a casket and burial clothes. Of signing documents and writing the obituary. Of discovering that her father had died of heart failure due to deep vein thrombosis. Meeting with the estate lawyer, Mr. Koonz, and the executor of Clive’s will.
    She’d sat within the lawyer’s office, the scent of leather and wood polish filling her blurry head. She sat with five of her father’s loyal employees and listened as each was bequeathed fifty thousand dollars and guaranteed employment at JH Ranch for as long as they chose. The lawyer mentioned a trust to an unnamed beneficiary that Sadie assumed was set up for children she might have.
    Everything else in his estate was left to Sadie. Everything from his old Ford truck and unexpired insurance policies to the JH.
    There was a time, a few short weeks ago, when the weight of responsibility would have overwhelmed her. It overwhelmed her now, only maybe not as much. Now the JH felt a bit more like an anchor than a noose.
    He left a letter for Sadie. One that was short and to the point:
    “Talking never came easy to me. I loved your mama and I loved you. I wasn’t the best daddy and I regret that. Don’t let the folks at the funeral home put makeup on me, and keep the lid to my casket closed. You know how I hate people gawking and gossiping.”
    And through the worst of it, Vince was there. His strong, solid presence just when she seemed to need him. He’d helped her gather her father’s things, then driven her to the funeral home the next day. Mostly he’d been with her at night. When everyone was gone. When the house was too quiet. When she was alone with her own thoughts and the numbing grief threatened to swamp her. He came and pressed his body into hers. His solid warmth chasing the chill from her bones. It wasn’t about sex. It was more like he came to see how she was holding up and stayed for a few hours.
    He never made the mistake of falling asleep in her bed again, and when she woke from a restless sleep in the darkness, he was always gone.

Chapter Fifteen
    I t seemed the entire population of the Texas panhandle turned out for the funeral of Clive Hollowell. Mourners from as far away as Denver and Tulsa and Laredo packed the pews of the largest Baptist church in Lovett. Like a lot of Southern Baptists, Clive had been baptized at the age of four after his profession of faith. Other than at his wife’s funeral, no one could actually recall ever seeing Clive’s tall frame sitting in the pews of the First Baptist Church on the corner of Third and Houston. But through the years, a lot of Hollowell money had flowed into the church coffers. Money that had paid for additions and renovations and the new forty-five-foot steeple and carillon bells.
    Senior Pastor Grover Tinsdale delivered the sermon, hitting all the high points about sin and souls and God welcoming His son Clive back. After the pastor took his seat, Sadie moved to the pulpit and gave the eulogy. There was no question about whether she would give it. She was a Hollowell. The last Hollowell. She stood