Rescue Me

home with him and make love. He wanted her. He’d said it himself, but he didn’t love her. And she was through loving men who couldn’t love her as she deserved to be loved. If nothing else, her daddy’s death had taught her not to wait around and hold her breath for a big declaration that some men just weren’t capable of giving or feeling.
    The doorbell rang and she waited for Clara Anne to answer it. When it rang again, she rose and moved to the entry. She swung open one side of the big doors and Vince stood on the JH’s big welcome rug. Gone was his usual uniform of T-shirt and cargos, today he wore a white dress shirt and khaki pants like the night of Tally’s wedding. All that was missing was a tie. He was big and strong and looked so good it tied her stomach in a knot.
    He stared at her through those green eyes of his, seeming to take her in all at once. Touching her here and there with his gaze. “Sadie” was all he said.
    After a few long moments she asked, “Why are you here?”
    “I brought you a name.”
    “Of?”
    “Someone who can find out if you have a sister.” He handed her a slip of paper he’d folded in half. “He’ll do as little or as much as you need.”
    “Thank you.” She took it from him and slipped it into the back pocket of her jeans. “You didn’t have to drive all the way out here to give this to me. You could have texted me the information.”
    “There’s more.”
    “What?”
    “Invite me in.” He cleared his throat. “Please.”
    More? How could he know more? She hadn’t given him any information. She stepped aside and he moved past her in the entry. She turned and leaned her back against the closed door.
    “Last night after you left the bar, I wanted to kick some ass. I felt like shit and I wanted to make someone feel as bad as I was feeling. I would have done that in the past.”
    Sadie glanced at his hands then up to his clear face. “But you didn’t.”
    He shook his head, and a lopsided smile twisted his lips. “If I show up with a black eye at my sister’s wedding, she’ll kick my ass.” He paused and his smile fell. “Mostly I didn’t because I don’t want you to think I’m the kind of guy who can’t control himself. For the first time in my life I care what a woman thinks of me. I care what you think.”
    The bottom of her heart squeezed a little and she tried not to make his words mean something they didn’t. Caring what someone thought wasn’t love.
    “Last night when I saw you, I thought we could just go back to the way things were. That we’d just pick up where we left off.”
    “That’s not possible.”
    “I know. I never meant for you to be anything other than a one-night stand.”
    “I know.” She looked down at the floor beneath her feet. She’d never meant for him to be anything but a friend with benefits. But the friend part had turned to love.
    “But one night turned into two and two into three and three into a week and a week into two weeks. Two weeks into two months. I’ve never been with a woman as long as I was with you.”
    She looked up. “I guess I should be flattered that it took you longer to get bored.”
    “I told you last night I wasn’t bored. I wasn’t ready for it to end.”
    “Then why did it?”
    He folded his arms across his chest. “Because you saw me that night. I never wanted you to see me like that. No one besides a Navy doc knows about the dreams and I never wanted anyone to know. Especially you.” He shook his head. “Never you.”
    She pushed away from the door. “Why?”
    “Because I’m a man.” He shrugged and dropped his hands to his sides. “Because I’m supposed to handle everything. Because I’m a Navy SEAL. Because I’m a warrior and don’t have PTSD. Because I’m not supposed to be afraid of a little dream.”
    “It’s not a little dream.”
    He looked over her shoulder at a vase filled with yellow roses Clara Anne had cut from the garden. He opened his mouth and closed it again.
    “How long have you been having them?”
    “Since Pete died. On and off for about six years.”
    “Your buddy, Pete Wilson?”
    “Yes.”
    “What happened to Pete?”
    He looked at her, but once again, she thought he was seeing beyond her to something she couldn’t see. And like the last time, it broke her already broken heart. “It should have been me. Not him. We were pinned down, taking heavy fire, bullets slamming into trees and rocks, coming from every side. Pete blasted