Ritual Magic

girl. I thought you always did your homework and your chores, that you respected your elders and never talked back.”
    Julia snickered. “Well . . . I usually do my homework.”
    Lily smiled.
    Julia tilted her head. “What kind of mother was I?”
    Oh, damn once more. She didn’t want to lie, but the truth was complicated. “You read stories to us when we were little, and you were wonderful when one of us was sick. You’d nag us about how we hadn’t taken care of ourselves, but in this really soft voice that was really saying
I love you
, never mind what the words were. Then you’d fix us whatever treat made us feel pampered. Oh, and you threw wonderful birthday parties. For my tenth birthday you rented a bunch of costumes, western stuff, enough for my whole class. We put on a play, making it up as we went along. It was fun.” Lily smiled, remembering. That had been her first birthday after the abduction. She hadn’t wanted a party, but her mother had insisted, and she’d been right. Not about everything, but about the party. Lily had been the sheriff.
    “Was I strict?”
    “About some things, yes, because you wanted what was best for us.”
    Julia nodded. “Were we close? Me and my mother were really close.”
    Lily licked her lips and tried. “I think you and your mother were unusually close. That’s the impression I had.”
    “Yes, we were. But you and I weren’t.” Julia nodded again, decisively, and stood and dusted off her rear with both hands. “Good.”
    “Ah . . . it is?”
    “That’s a mistake, being too close. My mother was . . .” Julia’s voice thickened. “She was wonderful. She really was, and she didn’t know she’d die like that, so it’s not her fault, but . . . but it’s better if there’s a little distance. Mothers should take the very best care of their children, but they shouldn’t make it so it hurts so much when you lose them.”
    With that, Julia headed for the door. “I am going to apologize,” she announced, “to Grandmother and Li Qin because I was rude, and to Toby because I shouldn’t have said that about him being stupid. Even if he does brag too much.” She opened the door and went back inside.
    Lily didn’t move. She just sat there, robbed of speech. Had her mother always thought this way? That the truly loving thing was to keep some distance between her and her daughters so they wouldn’t hurt too much when they lost her?
    Oh, Mother.
She rubbed her chilly arms and stared up at the starry sky with damp eyes.
You were wrong. It still hurts. It hurts a lot.

THIRTY-TWO

    H OME.
    That was what Rule felt as they drove down the familiar asphalt road . . . in spite of the subtle push-away that began the moment they passed the gate. In spite of the fact that he had his own home now, however unfinished it might be. He didn’t really know every twig and rock here. It just felt like it. Nor had he been away for long, only since their move.
    It just felt like it.
    “What does it feel like?” Lily asked quietly.
    Startled by the echo of his thoughts, he glanced at her. She was watching him, her eyes dark in the shadowed car. He decided she was asking about the dissonance between Leidolf’s mantle and the way the Nokolai mantle claimed this land. That dissonance only affected Rhos, and only when they were on another clan’s clanhome. If he was wrong, if she was really asking if he ached from the rejection he felt every second . . . no doubt she’d let him know. Whether he wanted her to or not. “Rather like walking into a wind that blows from every direction. It’s not a problem.”
    She cocked her head. “Maybe it will be okay to visit your dad sometimes, then. Eat some of Carl’s lasagna. See some of the people you’ve missed.”
    “Perhaps.” This place had been the center of his world for most of his life, and now it pushed him away.
Home
didn’t want him here.
    “Does it help to focus on the portion of Nokolai’s mantle you hold? It must be happy to be here.”
    Lily always personified the mantles, in spite of all his explanations. “I’m fine, Lily. It’s a minor discomfort, one I can easily ignore for the short time we’ll be here.” Though he’d done poorly at that so far, allowing himself to be distracted. That needed to stop. “It looks like Abel is here already.”
    “We’re late.”
    She sounded so grim he had to smile. Lily hated to be late. “By less than ten minutes. I think they’ll forgive