Savage Tales

fourth grade, the sketch was vague and amateurish, indicating no person in particular. It could have been the face of anyone.
    Esmeralda phoned the police and told them of the situation.

SOFT TACOS

    It was Billy Atkins and me playing hookey and going to the arcade. And when we got there it was empty like we'd never seen it so as we could play Street Fighter II without any wait or competition, almost like in a dream. Billy and I went at it for a few dollars before we decided to stop so we'd have money for lunch. Billy wanted to get fried chicken but I told him that was gross and wouldn't have it and he could get it if he wanted but he said he didn't have enough to get it just for him and that we'd have to go in on something and split it. So because of that we finally agreed to split soft tacos and found a place we could both afford. While I was eating Billy told how he had slipped into the girls bathroom the week before and hid in a stall standing on the toilet so nobody could see his legs and after a while he heard someone come in so he waited and listened. And he heard someone in the stall next to him grunting for about fifteen minutes so that even the recess bell rang and he knew he would be late but he couldn't just leave because then the girl would know he had been there when he hopped down to escape, and maybe she would see him as he escaped. So he let the recess bell ring and the girl didn't seem to care about recess ending. She just wanted to get that turd out that wouldn't leave. And Billy started to get nervous because the situation was so weird and he was afraid he would laugh or cough or get an itch. And his legs were getting tired standing on the toilet and he thought he might slip.
    But then it all changed. He heard the girl grunt, and in that grunt he recognized the voice. He couldn't place it immediately since it was such a fragment of voice, but he thought it over and finally decided after she made more agonized sounds that it was Angelina Soli. And though he had never said it, I knew that Billy had a crush on her. So I recognized in his voice a strained agony even in the retelling at suddenly seeing the girl of his dreams in constipated strain just feet away through a thin wall. And he said he was sweating like he couldn't believe in his palms, his armpits, the soles of his feet. He just wanted to get away.
    Finally he heard plopping sounds and a final agonized groan from Angelina. He listened to her wipe every fragment away from her anus and –
    "What were you expecting when you went in the girl's restroom?" I said. "Of course you'd catch a girl dropping a steamer."
    He looked at me with disgust and went on. He managed not to cough or laugh or squeal and heard Angelina leave. He waited a minute before leaving and prayed he wouldn't be seen coming out. The coast was clear and he made it back to our classroom.
    I laughed so hard in the telling of this that I knocked my half-eaten taco to the ground. "Fuck," I said.
    "Just pick it up," said Billy. "You can still eat it."
    I looked at the ground, the sidewalk filthy with cigarette butts and bubble gum.
    "No," I said. "Just give me a bite of yours and I'll get something else later."
    "No, I’m hungry. I need all this."
    "Come on. If I hadn't split them with you, you wouldn't be able to afford anything."
    This was true but he was hurt that I had brought it up.
    "Just one bite," I said.
    He gave in, but I was still hungry after so little.
    We went down to the pier and watched the tourists until we got bored. And while we were there we saw James Martin and asked if he was playing hookey too.
    "Don't be stupid. I'm a senior. I have a five-period day."
    And we looked at our watches and so much time had passed.
    "You little d-bags want to smoke some weed?"
    I had never smoked weed.
    "Okay," said Billy.
    The three of us went up into the park behind some bushes where no one could see or smell us, and James rolled a joint. I had never seen it done outside of a hip hop video and movies, but it looked easy enough. James took a puff then passed it to me. I breathed in and coughed it out right away.
    "You pussy," said James. "You got to hold it in."
    "Yeah," said Billy. I don't think he had ever smoked weed either. I handed it to him and he breathed in and tried to look cool. Then he started coughing too.
    "You guys suck," said James. He took the joint back and toked it again.
    I told Billy to tell James the story about last week and Angelina Soli. He didn't want