Sea Breeze 01 - Breathe

tonight.”
    Marcus frowned and sighed. “Yeah, I can understand. You two have been inseparable lately. I can see why her arrival would bother you.”
    His words startled me. “What do you mean? Her who?”
    Marcus darted his eyes at Ms. Mary, who made a “tsk” sound but kept her back to both of us.
    “Uh, sorry, I thought you knew. I, um . . .” He paused and shuffled his feet like he would rather leave the room.
    Ms. Mary let out a sigh. “Go ahead and get it out, boy. You done let the cat out of the bag. Don’t leave her to wonder.”
    Marcus nodded and said to me, “I don’t know how much of the celebrity stuff you read, but Star Holloway, the pop princess, and Jax have been an item for a while now. Even before he came here this summer. She flew in on his private jet this afternoon and is staying the night before she heads back out to finish her tour.”
    My knees went weak.
    “Now, don’t go making it sound worse than it is, boy,” Ms. Mary scolded. “I believe she is just a friend of Master Jax’s. The way he has been following you around like a puppy dog, I can’t fathom he has another girl.”
    I couldn’t form words. I stared at Marcus, who shrugged. I didn’t know what to say or what to think. I needed time alone, so I headed to the laundry room to change. The idea that Jax had a pop-star girlfriend didn’t make sense to me. He’d never spoken of her before. But I didn’t think Marcus would lie to me. Star Holloway was in this house, and she also happened to be the reason Jax had never came back out to the gazebo. It hurt that he’d never taken the time to explain. But then again, what could he tell his guest, “Excuse me, but I need to go tell the kitchen help you’re here that and I won’t be coming back to see her today”? I mean, really, this situation would be hard to grasp for someone in his world.
    I took a deep breath and reminded myself I’d known all along a relationship with him was impossible. He was a rock star, and I worked in his kitchen and his garden. I’d walked right into a situation with no happy ending, and I’d known it but taken that road anyway, just because a pair of steel-blue eyes made my heart race and a boyish grin made me melt. “Stupid” might be too kind a word for me. I swallowed the lump in my throat and stepped out of the laundry room.
    I walked past Ms. Mary, who stood wringing her hands, waiting for me. “I knew you was gonna get hurt,” she said with worry in her voice.
    I bit my bottom lip, still not trusting myself to speak. “You wait, now, on Marcus. He’ll take you home.” The thought of having to talk to Marcus, and waiting at the house any longer while Jax sat in the dining room with a pop princess, who for obvious reasons made a much better match for him than I did, panicked me. I needed to escape. I swallowed again and said to Ms. Mary, “I’m fine, but I want to go home now. I’ll see you in the morning. A bike ride is just what I need.”
    I smiled, but it didn’t reach my eyes. Ms. Mary frowned and reminded me to be careful. I headed home as quickly as I could. The farther away I got, the harder the idea of going back the next day seemed. The thought hurt so badly I wasn’t sure I could do it. I’m only so strong; I have a breaking point. I’d asked for this when I’d agreed to this thing with Jax. I’d allowed myself to be dazzled by his good looks and charming personality. His intense eyes and boyish grin somehow made me stupid and careless. I needed protection from myself. The horrifying thought that I might be like my mother hit me, and tears burned my eyes. I’d let him touch me, and I’d even wanted to touch him. I hadn’t even known he had a girlfriend. Maybe if I’d watched more television I’d have known this. How stupid could I be? I knew nothing about Jax but that he was a rock star. I hadn’t thought to check into his personal life.
    I stopped at the public beach. A walk would help calm me down before I went home to face Jessica.
    Amanda started coming down from the lifeguard stand. When she saw me, she shot her carefree, bubbly grin at me. “Sadie! I called you just this morning, but I didn’t get an answer. I left a message, though. So, are you coming?”
    I’d forgotten about the party. “Um, sure, I’ll come.”
    She appeared genuinely happy. I couldn’t figure out why this nice, cheerful girl seemed so anxious to be my friend.
    “About the lifeguarding job. How much does it