Shame

little smile. Lola had short, dark hair that was combed up and back, with eyes the same dark color, but her skin was lighter, cocoa colored. Instead of lifting her drink up, she leaned forward and brought her lips to her straw. Her appearance seemed to change with every shift of her head. She could have been Hispanic, Mediterranean, African, American Indian, or even Asian.
    And she could have been a woman, a very pretty woman, but Caleb realized she wasn’t.
    He turned away, embarrassed, and found himself looking around the room at anything but Lola. With all that had happened to him that day, with his life literally on the line, Caleb knew it was absurd that he should be flustered by a drag queen. But he still couldn’t bring himself to look her way.
His
way.
    In a voice that only Caleb could hear, Lola said, “You really didn’t know, did you?”
    “No.”
    “The marquee says ‘Female Impersonators’ in letters about as big as me.”
    More avoidance, more neck craning. “I missed it.”
    “I’ve been with lots of men who pretended they didn’t know, but you’re the first I ever believed.”
    “I was preoccupied.”
    “Must have been a hell of a preoccupation.”
    The room wasn’t big enough for him to avoid her eyes indefinitely. He gave Lola a quick look and saw a small, knowing smile come over her face. His face, Caleb remembered.
    The bartender picked that time to stop ignoring Caleb. “What can I get you?” he asked.
    “Coffee. Black.”
    “Put it on my tab, Michael,” Lola said.
    “Oh, God,” the bartender said, dramatically fluttering his eyelashes. “True love.”
    In a soft voice, Lola asked Caleb, “Sure you don’t want decaf?”
    “I’m sure.” But a second later he asked, “Why?”
    “Because you’re as twitchy as a treed cat.”
    Hearing that made Caleb even more nervous. He found himself smoothing his hair first with one hand, then the other. But instead of changing his order, he sat on his hands. Lola seemed to notice that, too.
    The bartender filled a coffee mug, expertly tossed a napkin on the counter, and placed it in front of Caleb.
    With not a little reluctance, Caleb turned to his benefactor and offered a nod. “Thank you.”
    Caleb directed his attention to the coffee, becoming absorbed in it, but that didn’t deter Lola from scrutinizing him. The staring made him uncomfortable. Caleb picked up a napkin and wiped perspiration from his face.
    “Are you hot,
Paul
?”
    He didn’t respond to the mocking tone, just nodded.
    Lola moved a little closer to him. “Fact is,
Paul
, when you realized what a den of iniquity this is, I’m surprised you didn’t run out of here like a bat out of hell.”
    “Maybe I was tired.”
    Lola’s glowing lips edged near to his ears. “And maybe I know more than you imagine I do, Mr. Parker.”
    Caleb tried to hide his reaction but didn’t succeed. Lola moved away from him, forcing him to be the one to draw closer.
    “How’d you know my name?”
    “You couldn’t be anything but your daddy’s son. I used to study his picture for hours at a time. He intrigued me. I wondered how a man so pretty could be so evil. That’s always been a fascination of mine, how people so pretty outside can be so ugly inside.
    “My auntie used to say, ‘Pride and grace dwell never in one place.’ Was your father a prideful man?”
    “I really didn’t know my father.”
    “Pride makes us do all sorts of hateful things. When Auntie used to catch me looking in a mirror she’d say, ‘Pride goes before, and shame follows after.’ I wonder if your father knew that saying.”
    “I wouldn’t know.”
    The movement of curtains at the entrance made Caleb start, but it wasn’t the police, just another patron.
    “What’s troubling you?” Lola asked.
    “Some people are convinced I’m suffering from a hereditary disease.”
    He kept glancing back nervously.
    “There’s a side exit,” Lola said. “Maybe we’d better leave.”
    They walked two blocks without saying anything before Lola got tired of that. “If we’re supposed to be looking like a couple,” she said, “or even like friends, we’re not doing a very good job of it. I’d suggest you walk next to me, not two steps behind.”
    Caleb closed the gap between them.
    “You need a ride somewhere?” Lola asked.
    “You don’t know what you’re getting into.”
    “I’d like to think that I’m rescuing you,” Lola said, offering the smallest flounce of her skirt.
    “I’m