Shifu, You'll Do Anything For a Laugh

red flags into the dragon; at other times they would suddenly insert thousands of white flags. But most of the time there were no flags. Some time later, a great many shiny objects appeared on top of the dragon. The passing laborers told us those were the steel rails.
    One day, a sandy-haired young man came walking down the road. He was so tall we felt he could touch our fence by simply stretching out one of his long arms. When we asked about our relatives, he surprised us by walking up to the fence, squatting down, and cheerfully rubbing our noses, poking our bellies, and pinching our little peckers. He was the first person who had answered our calls. With a big smile he asked:
    “What's your daddy's name?”
    “Wang Fugui.”
    “Ah, Wang Fugui,” he replied, rubbing his chin. “I know Wang Fugui.”
    “Do you know when he'll come get me?”
    “He won't be coming. The other day, he was crushed while carrying steel rails.”
    “Waah …” One of the kids began to bawl.
    “Have you seen my mommy?”
    “What's your mommy's name?”
    “Wan Xiuling.”
    “Ah, Wan Xiuling,” he replied, rubbing his chin. “I know Wan Xiuling.”
    “Do you know when she'll come get me?”
    “She won't be coming. The other day, she was crushed while carrying railroad ties.”
    “Waah …” Another of the kids began to bawl.
    Before long, we were all bawling. The sandy-haired young man stood up and walked off whistling.
    We cried from noon until sunset. We were still crying when the old women called us to dinner. “What are you crying about?” they snarled. “If you don't stop, we'll throw you into Dead Man's Pit.”
    We had no idea where Dead Man's Pit was, but we knew it had to be a horrible place. We stopped crying.
    The next day, we were back at the fence gazing at the scenery on the other side. At midmorning, several laborers rushed up to us carrying a door on which a bloody person was laid out. We couldn't tell if it was a man or a woman, but we could see and hear the blood dripping off the edge of the door and splattering on the ground.
    One of the kids started crying, and in no time we were all crying, as if the person lying on the door were our relative.
    After finishing our noon porridge, we went back to the fence, where we spotted the sandy-haired young man walking toward us in the custody of two swarthy, husky men armed with rifles. His hands were tied behind his back; his nose and eyes were bruised and swollen; his lips were bleeding. As he passed in front of us, he turned and gave us a wink, as if he couldn't have been happier.
    We called out to him as one, but one of the guards jabbed him in the ribs with his rifle and shouted: “Get moving!”
    On yet another morning, while we were leaning against the fence, we saw that the distant railway bed was suddenly alive with red flags, and we heard the clang of gongs and the beating of drums. All those people were shouting joyously for some reason. At lunchtime the old women gave each of us an egg and said: “Children, the rail line has been completed. The first train is due today. That means your daddies and mommies will be coming to get you. We've carried out our responsibility to look after you. These eggs are in celebration of the completion of the railway.”
    We were ecstatic. Our kinfolk weren't dead, after all. The sandy-haired young man had lied to us. No wonder they'd trussed him up and dragged him away.
    Eggs were such a rare treat that the old women had to show us how to peel them first. Clumsily we peeled away the shells, only to find feathery little chicks inside. They chirped when we bit into them, and they bled. When we stopped eating, the old women took switches to us and demanded that we keep eating. We did.
    When we were sprawled against the fence the next day, we saw even more red flags on the rail line. Later that afternoon, people on both sides of the tracks began to whoop and holler, as a giant object with thick smoke belching out of its head appeared. It was long and black and very big; it howled as it approached from the southwest. It was faster than a horse. It was the fastest thing we'd ever seen. We felt the earth move under our feet, and we were scared. Then we saw several women dressed all in white appear out of nowhere, clapping loudly and announcing:
    “The train's coming! The train's here!”
    The rumbling train headed off to the northeast, and we watched it until its tail end had disappeared from view.
    After the train passed