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Shirley

Titel: Shirley Kostenlos Bücher Online Lesen
Autoren: Charlotte Bronte
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her with fearless reliance: these things contented the mother's heart.
    She liked to hear her daughter say »Mamma, do this.« »Please, mamma, fetch me that.« »Mamma, read to me.« »Sing a little, mamma.«
    Nobody else – not one living thing – had ever so claimed her services, so looked for help at her hand. Other people were always more or less reserved and stiff with her, as she was reserved and stiff with them; other people betrayed consciousness of, and annoyance at her weak points: Caroline no more showed such wounding sagacity or reproachful sensitiveness now, than she had done when a suckling of three months old.
    Yet Caroline could find fault. Blind to the constitutional defects that were incurable, she had her eyes wide open to the acquired habits that were susceptible of remedy. On certain points she would quite artlessly lecture her parent; and that parent, instead of being hurt, felt a sensation of pleasure in discovering that the girl
dared
lecture her; that she was so much at home with her.
    »Mamma, I am determined you shall not wear that old gown any more; its fashion is not becoming: it is too strait in the skirt. You shall put on your black silk every afternoon; in that you look nice: it suits you; and you shall have a black satin dress for Sundays – a real satin – not a satinet or any of the shams. And, mamma, when you get the new one, mind you must wear it.«
    »My dear, I thought of the black silk serving me as a best dress for many years yet, and I wished to buy you several things.«
    »Nonsense, mamma: my uncle gives me cash to get what I want: you know he is generous enough; and I have set my heart on seeing you in a black satin. Get it soon, and let it be made by a dressmaker of my recommending; let me choose the pattern. You always want to disguise yourself like a grandmother: you would persuade one that you are old and ugly, – not at all! On the contrary, when well dressed and cheerful, you are very comely indeed. Your smile is so pleasant, your teeth are so white, your hair is still such a pretty light colour. And then you speak like a young lady, with such a clear, fine tone, and you sing better than any young lady I ever heard. Why do you wear such dresses and bonnets, mamma, such as nobody else ever wears?«
    »Does it annoy you, Caroline?«
    »Very much: it vexes me even. People say you are miserly; and yet you are not, for you give liberally to the poor and to religious societies: though your gifts are conveyed so secretly and quietly, that they are known to few except the receivers. But I will be your maid myself: when I get a little stronger I will set to work, and you must be good, mamma, and do as I bid you.«
    And Caroline, sitting near her mother, rearranged her muslin handkerchief, and resmoothed her hair.
    »My own mamma,« then she went on, as if pleasing herself with the thought of their relationship, »who belongs to me, and to whom I belong! I am a rich girl now: I have something I can love well, and not be afraid of loving. Mamma, who gave you this little brooch? Let me unpin it and look at it.«
    Mrs. Pryor, who usually shrank from meddling fingers and near approach, allowed the license complacently.
    »Did papa give you this, mamma?«
    »My sister gave it me – my only sister, Cary. Would that your aunt Caroline had lived to see her niece!«
    »Have you nothing of papa's? – no trinket, no gift of his?«
    »I have one thing.«
    »That you prize?«
    »That I prize.«
    »Valuable and pretty?«
    »Invaluable and sweet to me.«
    »Show it, mamma. Is it here or at Fieldhead?«
    »It is talking to me now, leaning on me: its arms are round me.«
    »Ah, mamma! you mean your teasing daughter, who will never let you alone; who, when you go into your room, cannot help running to seek for you; who follows you upstairs and down, like a dog.«
    »Whose features still give me such a strange thrill sometimes. I half fear your fair looks yet, child.«
    »You don't; you can't. Mamma, I am sorry papa was not good: I do so wish he had been. Wickedness spoils and poisons all pleasant things: it kills love. If you and I thought each other wicked, we could not love each other, could we?«
    »And if we could not trust each other, Cary?«
    »How miserable we should be! Mother, before I knew you, I had an apprehension that you were not good, that I could not esteem you: that dread damped my wish to see you; and now my heart is elate because I find you perfect, – almost; kind,

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