Shooting in the Dark

about things. I can’t help it. You do too. It’s a feature in this family.’
    ‘And these are the things that occupy you today, as soon as you open your eyes: doubt and the nature of sleep?’
    ‘Yeah. And Echo as well. I’m always thinking about her, because she’s in front of me all the time. Every time I look at her something’s changed. Like it’s teething at the moment, and you know how it’s giving her gyp. I wondered if we should slip her a tot of vodka. You know what I mean, mix it with honey. Knock her out till the morning. What d’you think?’
    ‘Jesus, Geordie. You can’t do that. You’ll turn her into an alcoholic. Trudie knows this herbalist woman, I was going to ask her for something.’
    ‘Maybe that’s what happened to Sam?’ Geordie said. ‘His mother gave him whisky when he was a baby.’
    ‘We’re not going to do that to Echo, though,’ said Janet, talking to the child. ‘Are we, my darling?’
    Geordie shook his head. He rolled over and sat on the edge of the bed. ‘Yeah. That’s not the way to go. Just a brown thought.’
    Venus had laid five kittens during the night. She’d dropped them into the padded basket that Janet had prepared for her and they were suckling noisily when Geordie went down to make breakfast. He watched them rooting away, finding the nipples by smell and touch, as yet unable to see. He tried to think of people who might want a kitten but couldn’t think of anyone. ‘Five,’ he said to Venus. ‘Christ, what’re we gonna do with that lot? You’ll have to farm them out among your relatives. They can’t stay here.’
    Ralph came in the front door, pushing it back on its hinges so it smashed against the wall. All of the kittens stopped sucking and Venus wrapped herself around them protectively.
    ‘What’s that?’ Janet shouted down the stairs, concern in her voice.
    ‘It’s OK, it’s only Ralph,’ Geordie shouted back. And then to Ralph, ‘I thought you was bringing a bus in, man. What’s all the banging for?’
    ‘I just got the sack,’ Ralph said. ‘I took the truck back and the guy’d got out of bed the wrong side. He’s giving me, “Where’ve you been with the truck, I called the cops; thought you’d stolen it,” all that shit. I told him, “Fuck are you giving me all this for, this time in the morning. I’ve brought it back, haven’t I? Only a couple of days late.”
    ‘But he can’t stop and he’s giving me all this mouth about how he’s losing money and the truck’s so filthy he can’t put it on the road. In the end I told him to go fuck his mother and he’s got my cards ready, the bastard. So I’m out of work. What’s to eat? My belly thinks my throat’s cut. And don’t even mention that muesli stuff, I’m not a bleedin’ bird.’
    When Janet and Echo came down Ralph was adding a tin of tomatoes to the eggs and sausages in the frying pan. ‘Here’s the ladies,’ Ralph said, making his eyes as big as they’d go. ‘You want some of this,’ he said to Janet, pointing at the pan. ‘Build you up so you can feed the nipper.’
    Janet shook her head. Geordie knew she’d got the sausages for tonight’s dinner and she was pissed off because she’d have to go and get them all over again. ‘It’s all right,’ he told her. ‘I’ve got to go to the shops.’
    Echo got restless and hungry before breakfast was over and Janet had to start feeding her while she was still eating her muesli. Geordie got up from the table and made coffee for Ralph and himself and mint tea for Janet. He brought the cups to the table and was about to sit down again when the whole thing blew up. Janet got to her feet, pulling Echo off her breast and letting her T-shirt fall back down. Echo screamed. Janet stormed out of the room and up the stairs shouting about how she couldn’t feed her own child in her own house without being ogled by some filthy bastard.
    In the kitchen it was so quiet Geordie could hear himself breathing. He looked over the table at Ralph and Ralph lifted his shoulders and made a face, as if to say, ‘What happened there, then?’
    ‘Did you say something?’ Geordie asked.
    ‘Not a dicky-bird.’
    ‘I’d better see what’s up.’ He left his chair and made for the stairs.
    ‘It’ll be hormones,’ Ralph said. ‘Even money.’
    In the bedroom Janet was trying to get Echo to feed again but the child was too distressed. Janet’s face was streaked with tears. Geordie sat next to her on the bed. ‘What