Shutdown (Glitch)

register, grabbing me around the waist and pulling me down so that I was lying beside him, my back to his chest. He wrapped his arms around the front of my waist and pulled me into him. I’d never felt safer or more secure in my life. I let out a small contented sigh.
    “And what would we do every day after we woke up and looked at the woods?”
    “I’d spend hours reading,” he said. “I’d read the great philosophers and poets, and then I’d take a transport into a small city where I would be a professor. I’d ask the students questions and get them engaged, and we’d spend hours talking about ideas from the books we’d read.” He nuzzled his chin into my hair. “We’d discover new things about ideas we thought we already knew or understood. And then we’d leave class with our heads full of new thoughts and new ways of seeing the world. That would be my job. Talking about ideas all day. But only a few days a week.”
    “And the other days?”
    He flipped me over until I was lying on my back, his body suspended over mine. The grin was gone, replaced by a shy intensity. He looked down, and his cheeks reddened a moment before meeting my eyes again. “The rest of the time we’d spend all day in bed.”
    It was my turn for my face to redden. We spent hours kissing whenever he came by on these rare visits, but hadn’t pushed it further to discover the mysteries of what happened when all the clothes came off.
    A small alarm had beeped right then, signaling it was time for him to leave again so he’d be gone in plenty of time before the rest of the lab workers came in.
    He’d spent several more minutes ignoring the alarm anyway, holding me close and kissing me. But then, like always, he’d had to leave.
    I lifted my other hand to the side of the tank. Leaving. He was always leaving me. Even now when he was here, it was like he was gone.
    The tears I hadn’t allowed earlier now slipped down both cheeks. Adrien’s eyes shifted slightly to look at my hands pressed against the glass.
    But he didn’t even seem curious, much less engaged in anything that was happening to him. I wanted to pull him out of this stupid tank and hold him in my arms. Even if he didn’t feel anything for me, couldn’t feel anything, it would make me feel better to hold him. I pulled back, trying to tamp down my selfish impulses. I had to think of his health, his recovery.
    “I miss you.” I swiped at the tears on both cheeks with my forearm. “The mission failed. I seem to be doing that a lot lately. Failing, letting people down. But obviously you know that better than anyone.”
    I leaned my forehead against the tank. “I love you,” I whispered.
    He blinked and one of his hands shot out to touch the glass in the same spot my hand had been earlier.
    I lifted my hand to meet his. “Adrien?”
    Our hands were together, so close to touching except for the barrier of glass between us. His eyes met mine and for a second I’d swear there was a zinging flash of recognition. His eyebrows furrowed together and he looked so profoundly sad as he gazed out at me.
    “Adrien?” My voice echoed loudly in the empty room. My heartbeat ramped up and I put my other hand up anxiously to the glass. Anything to try to grab hold of this moment of connection. “Adrien?”
    But then his hand released, relaxing limply into the gel again. His gaze drifted back to the ceiling. As if I wasn’t even there.

 
    Chapter 6
    THE NEXT FEW DAYS WERE calm and absurdly normal. In the mornings, I switched off between doing physical training with my old glitcher task force and having administrative meetings with either the on-site Rez soldiers or the representative who’d been appointed to speak on behalf of refugee affairs. The afternoons were similarly split between administrative duties and joining in for Gifted Training when I could afford the time.
    Today, I followed the rest of my friends to lunch after a morning training session. We’d run stairs. Most days I groaned like everyone else when Tyryn announced it was a stairs day, but today I’d enjoyed the pounding physicality of it. I’d even welcomed the pain burning through my thighs. Here, finally, was something I could control, something I could do right .
    “God, Rand,” City scrunched up her nose. “Don’t you know showers after training shouldn’t be optional? Especially for you .”
    Rand only grinned, jogging backwards down the hall so he could face her. “It’s all about the