Silence Of The Hams

her house yesterday, Tony Belton was there and they seemed...“ Jane paused, trying to think of a tactful phrase.
    Patsy supplied it. “Chummy?“
    “To say the least.“
    “I thought so, too, the one time I saw them together. But I thought maybe it was just her manner with men. Some women get around anybody male and turn into flirts,“ Patsy said.
    “I don’t think she’s one of them.“
    “I’ve got to get this food home before my husband comes looking for me,“ Patsy said, opening her car door.
    “I’m sorry to have been so nosy,“ Jane said.
    “No, the police are surely going to ask me the same things and I might as well start getting my memory in gear.”
    Jane drove home so deep in thought that she almost missed her own driveway.

12

    Jane had a message to call Mel when she got home. She did so and told him briefly that he needed to speak to Patsy Mallett and why. She gave him Patsy’s phone number, and hearing the rush and irritation in his voice, hung up as quickly as possible.
    Mike came home, showered, changed clothes, and went back out for the evening with Scott and a couple of his other pals. Katie asked to have her friend Jenny spend the night. Jenny arrived with enough luggage for a European Grand Tour, and the girls disappeared into Katie’s room for the evening. Elliot and Todd took over the living room television to watch ninja movies.
    Jane tidied up the kitchen and gave Willard a long pet. “Nobody’s paid much attention to you lately, have they, old boy?“ she said, scratching behind his ears, which he loved. Knowing, by feline radar, that there was affection being given to pets, Max and Meow appeared, wanting their fair share. Jane petted them, and in an excess of fondness, gave them each some vile kitty treats the kids had forced her to buy. The cats loved them, but would probably throw them up somewhere later. They usually did.
    Jane had heard that pets lowered your blood pressure, reduced stress, and all sorts of other good things. Most of the time she didn’t believe it. Willard, Max, and Meow were normally just three more children to keep tabs on, but this evening, she did find that a visit with them was pleasant and relaxing.
    “At least I don’t have to put you guys through college or worry that you’ll marry somebody who hates me and wants to take you away to Paris to live,“ she said.
    Willard rolled over for a tummy rub and Meow made a gagging noise.
    Jane puttered. She started some laundry, changed the kitty litter, threw out nearly everything in the refrigerator, and sorted through some seed packets she’d ordered in January from a catalog and never got around to planting. She considered spending a few hours with Priscilla on the computer, but decided she’d had enough of words and of talking for one day. She wasn’t so much tired as she was tired of conversation and of thinking. She needed something mindless. Like cooking.
    No, nothing in the house to cook. So she cleaned off the kitchen table and got out a jigsaw puzzle.
    By nine-thirty, she had the border finished and had almost completed the big building in the middle. The phone rang.
    “Got plans for tomorrow morning?“ Mel asked.
    “How early?“ she asked warily.
    “Ten?“
    “That’s possible. I never make the kids get up for church on the first Sunday of the summer. But the pantry is bare. Don’t expect breakfast.“
    “I’ll take you out then. We’ve never had breakfast together. Well, except that one time—“ he said with a very pleasant leer in his voice.
    Jane blushed. The breakfast he referred to was a room service meal the morning of the first night they’d spent together. And halfway through it, they’d found something much more fun to do than eating. Best meal she’d ever not eaten.
    “I’m not sure a public restaurant would be suitable for the way we conduct ourselves at breakfast.“
    “Oh, I think I can manage to keep my clothes on if you can,“ he said.
    She laughed a bit breathlessly and then said, more seriously, “You sound tired. Get some sleep. I’ll see you tomorrow.“
    “Janey, this is an official visit—“
    “I was afraid it might be. Tomorrow.”
    She drove Elliot home, dropped off the movies the boys had rented, and went home to bed and tried not to think about sex.
    She would love to have invited Mel over for the night, but that would violate her own rules. She didn’t believe in having an affair in the same house her kids were in. Not that they