Silence Of The Hams

carry in the rest. Only Todd showed up. “He must be the hungriest,“ Jane muttered.
    Shelley helped put things away as they came in. “My God! I hope you had lots of coupons along. What did you do, buy one of everything in the store?“
    “Nearly. I’m determined not to go back for at least two weeks, except for bread or milk. Leave all the meats on the corner of the counter until I figure out which I want to cook first and I’ll put the rest in the basement freezer.“
    “Eight packages of Jell-O? Have you lost your mind?“
    “Todd could live on it,“ Jane said, taking a couple nearly empty cereal boxes out of an upper cabinet in order to put new ones in. She dumped all the old cereal into one box, put it back in the cabinet and went to the bottom of the stairs to bellow up, “Mike, come get Willard’s food out of the car. The bag’s too heavy for Todd to carry.“
    “So what did Mel have to say?“ Shelley asked as she folded empty grocery bags.
    “A lot, but it’s sort of baroque and I have to concentrate to even tell it right. Wait a minute until the kids are out from underfoot.”
    Mike slumped through the kitchen and was back in a minute with a fifty-pound bag of dog food on his shoulder. He made some Tarzan noises as he passed them on his way to the basement.
    When he returned, Shelley said to him, “I want a ride in the truck pretty soon.”
    He snagged a carton of milk Jane was putting away, grabbed a glass, and hitched his chair up to the table. “Tell you what, Mrs. Nowack, why don’t you and Mom go somewhere in it this evening? Scott and I are double-dating and have to use his car.“
    “That sounds great. You’d really trust us with it?“
    “Well, I’ve a rope tied to it to pull you back if you go more than a mile, but yeah,“ Mike said, grinning.
    Jane finished putting away the food, leaving out bread, jelly, sliced ham, lettuce, mayo, and peanut butter for the kids to fix sandwiches. “No chips?“ Katie wailed as she came into the kitchen.
    “Cabinet next to the oven,“ Jane said. “Have you never noticed where they live?”
    A little later, sitting on the patio with Shelley, she was still grousing. “Of course she doesn’t know where I keep anything because she never troubles to put anything away. But I had a shock yesterday. She cleaned up her room. Without being told to.“
    “ That’s scary!“ Shelley said. “Maybe you’re about to enter a new era. Tell me what Mel said.”
    Jane took a deep breath, reviewed it in her head for a second, and launched into a long monologue full of “he saids“ and “I saids.“ Shelley listened quietly, occasionally saying, “Wait. Wait. Let me think.“ Then, “Okay, go ahead.”
    When Jane was done, Shelley said, “What a pair they were! Using and either abusing or planning to abuse the client privilege. Do you think they’d already been using the material they had to blackmail people?”
    Jane thought for a minute. “You know, if I had to guess, I’d say not. I think if Stonecipher had been using it, he’d have gotten more cooperation in ramming through his silly rules. He’s lost on practically all his causes, hasn’t he?“
    “I think so. But that’s assuming he’d blackmail people for moral support rather than plain old cash. And he appeared to have lots and lots of money. Those house renovations alone must have run well over $100,000 apart from the decorating. And you saw those Oriental rugs in the living room. I don’t think they came from Sears. The real things cost the earth.“
    “Even the fake ones are out of my range. Can’t you just picture Weyrich and Stonecipher staying late at the office, poring over their nasty little private file cabinet?“ Jane shuddered. “That’s really creepy.“
    “So Mel gave the Dohertys as an example of people who were at the deli opening, had dealt with Stonecipher, and didn’t have a file. Did he mention anyone else?“
    “No. I don’t think he was suggesting they were high on his list of suspects, though. Just giving an example that I’d recognize because we were the ones who blabbed to him about them.“
    “I’d sure like to see his short list,“ Shelley said.
    “So would I, but if you think I’m going to ask—“
    “God, no! He’d be down on us like a ton of bricks,“ Shelley agreed.
    “Stay here a minute,“ Jane said and went inside.
    She came back out with the little blue lozenge of cardstock from the file folder. “Does that look familiar to