Silencing Eve

feel the loss,” she said. “Doane is right about your death hurting him.” She frowned. “You don’t want me talking about him. You don’t want Zander that near me. He can’t hurt me, Mama.”
    “You’re right, I don’t want to talk about him.”
    “Then we won’t do it. There are enough people who care about you without mentioning Zander.”
    She was silent a moment. “Is he … your grandfather, Bonnie?”
    “Ask him. You don’t want to hear about him from me.”
    Eve didn’t know why she had asked that question. It had come tumbling out with irresistible force. “There are a number of questions I have to ask him when Doane brings us together.” She added wryly, “Providing he allows us enough time before he presses the magic button.” She held up her hand as Bonnie opened her lips to speak. “I know. I know. That sounded much too resigned. I’ll work on it. I just didn’t understand why you mentioned Zander instead of someone who does care whether I live or die.”
    “Like Jane?”
    “Yes.”
    “I didn’t mention Jane because you didn’t, Mama. You talked about Joe’s being hurt, but you didn’t say anything about Jane.”
    “Of course I meant Jane, too.”
    “But you didn’t say her name. Only Joe’s.”
    Eve stiffened. “What are you saying? I love Jane, and I know she loves me. I wasn’t trying to leave her out in any way.”
    “You do love her, but not in the same way you love me. It may even be a better way because she’s your best friend. We never got the chance to become friends. That comes later between a mother and daughter.”
    “Then what difference does it make that I—Are you saying that I made some Freudian slip?“
    “Maybe. I believe that I was always in the way of your relationship with Jane. You were searching for me, thinking about me for years and years.”
    “Jane always said that she never resented it.”
    “And that proves that she loves you. She wanted whatever would make you happy.” She paused. “Just as I do. I feel very close to Jane, Mama. But she shuts me out. I can’t … reach her. It didn’t bother me before … well, a little. I understood that she’d put up barriers to keep from being hurt. But I can’t let her be alone when she—you may have to do it for me.”
    “You’re scaring me. What are you talking about?”
    “I just want you to know that she’s willing to do anything for you. Would she miss you as Joe would?” She hesitated, then said quietly, “She’d die for you, Mama.”
    She inhaled sharply. “Bonnie.”
    “I just want you to know that it’s not only your life you’re fighting for. Fight for Jane. She’s going to need you.”
    “Don’t you dare be all mysterious and enigmatic, young lady. Explain.”
    Bonnie shook her head. “Just love her and try to take care of her.” She smiled with an obvious effort. “When you manage to get out of those ropes and start moving in the right direction. Did it occur to you that you wouldn’t be in this situation if you’d taken your chance to get away instead of saving Zander? That makes it even stranger that you still resent him.”
    “Of course it occurred to me. It also occurred to me that you’re trying to change the subject.” And, knowing Bonnie, she realized that she was not going to yield any more information no matter how frustrated it was going to make Eve. Frustrated and scared. “If you’re so worried about Jane, you take care of her. Ghosts should have some kind of special powers, shouldn’t they? Well, if you do, don’t use them for me. Use them for Jane.”
    “It doesn’t work that way, Mama.”
    “I’m tired of hearing that. If I were there with you, then maybe I’d understand about—” She stopped. “I don’t want to argue. These moments with you are too precious. I’ll do my job. I’ll help my Jane.”
    “I know you will,” Bonnie said. “And we aren’t arguing. I had to warn you, and I made you worry. If I could make it stop, I would. But now it’s out of the way and I can just be with you.”
    “The last time you were able to come to me was when I inhaled that gas at the cabin. You disappeared when I started to come out of it. How much time do we have?”
    “A long time,” she said gravely. “A few hours, I think.”
    “What?”
    “He gave you a very strong dose.” She looked her in the eye. “A little more, and we would have been together.”
    Together. Death. “That potent?”
    “He’s angry with you all