Silencing Eve

hall. “If you need me, call…”
    She wouldn’t call, Jane thought as she followed Eve down the hall. Eve had already given her too much time when she had her own nightmares to lay to rest.
    Jane’s nightmares would come as they had every night since Trevor’s death. She had carefully hidden that from Eve. Then, after the nightmares, she would wake, and the tears that wouldn’t stop followed.
    Maybe not tonight.
    Maybe she could hold off the memories of that night of death that brought those nightmares. Trevor had said she was strong.
    Let her be strong tonight.
    *   *   *
    THE NIGHTMARE WAS THE same. Jane woke from it with tears running down her cheeks.
    She sat up in bed, breathing hard.
    Don’t let go.
    Don’t give in.
    Take control.
    Dear God, it was hard. The despair seemed to be deep and endless.
    You shouldn’t have died, Trevor. You had everything to live for. I would have made your life so good. If anyone had to die that night, it should have been me.
    The pain wouldn’t go away. It was starting to overwhelm her.
    Don’t cry.
    Hold on.
    Ever … After. You shouldn’t be afraid.
    Yes, that’s what he had said. She could hear it as if he were in this room.
    Today. Tomorrow. Ever After.
    You should be here now. I should be able to touch you, tell you how much I love you.
    I don’t think it’s forever. But you have … to go on as if it is forever.
    I want to see you again. Maybe if I concentrate hard enough … Eve says she believes Bonnie comes to her. I don’t care if it’s just some hallucination. It brings her happiness … She lifted her hand to push her hair back from her face. I know, I’m acting crazy. You wouldn’t be proud of me now.
    Shh, love. You’ll get through it. You’re so strong. My own love …
    Maybe if I concentrate, I can imagine—
    *   *   *
    “ HE DOESN’T WANT YOU to do that, Jane. You have to remember what he said to you. ”
    She stiffened. Those weren’t the words Trevor had spoken that night. Maybe she truly was beginning to hallucinate.
    “Trevor?”
    “ No, he won’t come to you. He said it wouldn’t be good for you. You’re so stubborn. You hold on with all your strength and won’t let go. He has to protect you from hurting yourself.”
    Trevor always was trying to guard her, even in this weird hallucination, she thought with a bitter pang.
    “ It’s not a hallucination. Eve told you that you had to open your mind and heart. You’ve done it, Jane. Can’t you feel it? ”
    “I can feel that I’m talking to some figment of my imagination.”
    “ And not the someone you want to be there.” Soft laughter. “But I’ll have to do. Trevor sent me to explain why you have to put the thought of him aside. Oh, you’ll keep him in your memory and your heart, but he wants you to have your life. It hurts him that you’re hurting. ”
    “I don’t want to hear this.”
    “ Because it means starting to give him up. It’s what he wants, Jane. ”
    “No, he loves me. He’d want—” He’d want her to have freedom and happiness and no chains. The gentle answer came drifting like a warm cloud out of nowhere.
    “ And he can’t have chains either. He has so much to do there. ”
    “There? Not here? You’re not with him in the great beyond?” she asked mockingly. “This hallucination needs proofing.”
    “ No, I’m not with him now. Close your eyes. Where am I, Jane? ”
    “Is this a game?” Jane closed her eyes. “I’ll play along. Sort of hide-and—”
    She stiffened.
    A presence.
    Gentle.
    Knowing.
    “ Here. ”
    Her eyes flew open. She swung her legs to the floor and jumped out of bed.
    The next moment, she was out of the bedroom and running down the hall. Her heart was pounding. Open your mind and heart …
    She threw open the porch door.
    “ Hello, Jane. I’ve been waiting for you a long time. ”
    The little red-haired girl sitting cross-legged on the porch swing smiled at her. “ This will be much better. Now we can talk, and I can make you understand so many things. ” She tilted her head, and her smile became luminous. “ You do know who I am? ”
    Jane stared at her for an instant, as the shock and bewilderment faded away. “Yes, I know you.” She started toward her. No dream. No hallucination. Proof of Forever. Proof of Ever After. “You’re Bonnie.”

 
    ALSO BY IRIS JOHANSEN
    Hunting Eve
    Taking Eve
    Sleep No More
    Close Your Eyes (with Roy Johansen)
    What Doesn’t Kill