Simmer Down

the gallery with a heavy kitchen appliance, and now she’s going to kill Eliot at the back of this restaurant with a similar weapon. Josh, your kitchen is full of murder weapons! She’s got some sort of crazy repetition compulsion, and you’ve sent her into a room full of lethal appliances! Come on!” I grabbed a stunned Josh by the hand and pulled him into the kitchen.
    “No, you’re acting crazy,” Josh informed me. “You need to listen to me!”
    I scanned the kitchen, but Eliot and Naomi were nowhere to be seen. I did see Isabelle, though, in a corner of the room. The shy girl I’d met the other day looked positively radiant. She was sweaty and exhausted, but she had clearly found her calling in the kitchen.
    I dragged Josh behind me. “Isabelle.”
    “Oh, Chloe,” she gushed. “I love it here. You can’t believe how much work this is and how nuts it got in here, but I love it. And Chef has been taking care of me.” I was pretty sure I saw a slight blush creep up her cheeks. I couldn’t blame her for having a crush on Josh.
    “Good, I’m so happy for you. Listen, have you seen a woman with crazy braids and a man with big eyes come through here?”
    “Yeah, I did. They just went in there.” Isabelle pointed to one of the walk-ins, as Josh called them, meaning walk-in refrigerators and freezers the size of small rooms.
    “Quick! Grab something!” I instructed Josh.
    “Like what?”
    “Anything! Here.” I handed him an oversized metal soup ladle. “I’ll open the door, and then you go in and hit her on the head with that.”
    Josh started to laugh. “You want me to hit your supervisor on the head with a ladle?”
    “She’s probably killing him right now. Go!” I reached for the handle of the walk-in, pulled open the heavy door, and pushed my brave chef in ahead of me.
    The scene was just what I’d feared: she was killing again! Specifically, Naomi had Eliot pinned against a wall, and, vampire fashion, appeared to be biting him.
    “Stop it!” I screamed.
    Naomi spun around, saw the two of us, and screamed right back at us. Since Josh had failed to raise the ladle in a protective manner, I steadied myself on my feet in preparation for Naomi’s attack.
    Eliot stumbled forward, his head hanging low. I looked him over for wounds, blood, or other signs of assault but saw none.
    “This is so embarrassing,” he said. “We shouldn’t be using your storage area like it’s the backseat of a car. I really apologize.” Eliot adjusted his shirt, which had slipped out of his waistband.
    Oh, my God. We’d walked in on Naomi mauling Eliot, all right! Just not mauling him in the manner I’d expected. Gross. It took me a few seconds to process the information that Naomi was not attempting to murder Eliot and was not a lesbian. I’m not sure which realization was more shocking.
    “Eliot and I met in a yoga class a few months ago,” Naomi explained, brushing her braids back from her face. “I’ve been wanting to tell you, Chloe, but the relationship is sort of new and, well, anyhow... Chloe, I have something to share. Eliot is now the man in my life.” She put her arm around his waist and leaned into him.
    Eliot cleared his throat. “When Food for Thought came around, obviously I suggested that Naomi and I pair up, but we were trying to keep up professional appearances.”
    “Eliot’s gallery was a very desirable spot,” Naomi said. “We felt that the larger, more powerful agencies might be so resentful that there’d be accusations of favoritism.”
    “So,” Eliot continued, “we didn’t mention our being together to anyone. Now that that’s behind us, I guess there’s no reason to keep this a secret anymore.” He and Naomi smiled at each other, clearly smitten. “Naomi was telling me over dinner that she’d never been behind the scenes at a restaurant, so Gavin said it wouldn’t be a problem if I showed her around. Sorry. I guess we got a little distracted.”
    “No problem,” Josh tried to reassure them. “I’m very happy for you two. Since you’re here, why don’t I give you a personal tour?”
    The horny couple followed Josh out of the walk-in and, still in a state of shock, I plodded after them. Huh. So either Naomi had committed a one-time murder and was going to give her new love, Eliot, a reprieve from death by small kitchen appliance, or she hadn’t killed Oliver at all.
    Josh was showing off a still-new-looking gas stove, complete with eight burners and a