Slash and Burn

think it was sabotage?” said Siri.
    “I tell you, I’m real sorry this happened, but it had nothing to do with incompetence. In thirty years I never made a mistake. Not once. Now, if you don’t mind, I’d like to change the subject to weird sex.”
    The Lao were shocked. They wondered whether they’d misheard the translation. Siri turned to Auntie Bpoo.
    “What did he say?”
    “I’m sorry, he said he wants to change the subject to, you know, sex,” she told him.
    “He did not.”
    “Yes, he … OK, but I bet he’d join in soon enough if we started,” Bpoo smiled. “He’s got some great stories.”
    Siri laughed.
    “Bpoo, you’re an interpreter. You can’t just make it up as you go along. Just tell us what he’s actually saying, will you?”
    “You may recall I’m not an interpreter at all. I’m a fortuneteller, local celebrity and bon vivant. And I’m excruciatingly bored with all this dynamite talk. Get little miss teen dream over if you want a serious job done. Life’s too short for being morose.”
    The major was feeling left out. He interrupted Bpoo and they locked into a serious discussion before she grabbed hold of his hand and started to read his palm. She was lost to the world of interpretation.

13
    LIPSTICK AND TOO TIGHT UNDERWEAR
    Had there been a sun visible, they would have seen it setting just as they arrived at the Friendship. The building was nestled in a thick mist like a blurry uncle in a soft gray armchair. The senator and his secretary were seated on the rattan chairs on the front veranda wearing borrowed mufflers. They were writing flip charts for their next dangerous mission. There were coffee cups in front of them and various files and folders. Siri climbed down from the truck and did an inventory of his aches by cracking all his bones. He marveled at the number of tunes his skeleton had learned to play over recent years. He and Civilai often discussed joining a traditional orchestra as the percussion section. He stood back and observed the teams as they entered the building. There was a lot to be learned from the way people interacted.
    Judge Haeng on two sound legs raced across to the senator and bowed low in front of him, offering the kind of nop reserved for great-grandmothers of royal blood. This was astounding considering the judge’s open hostility to the practice. The senator obviously didn’t recognize Haeng despite the judge’s fawning of the previous evening. He nodded with a “Who is this guy?” expression on his face. They both looked around hopefully for interpreters but, as none was available, they settled for a four-handed shake and words that neither understood. Haeng was clearly up to something.
    As the Americans filed past him, the senator exchanged jokes and pleasantries. Siri noticed Major Potter slide by in the background without acknowledging him at all. As far as he could recall, the two hadn’t exchanged a single word. With the Lao, the senator laughed and shouted a newly learned “ Sawatdee krap ” hello, which was actually Thai but as near as damn it. Auntie Bpoo knelt in front of him and kissed his wedding ring. She then licked his finger and winked. Recovering from this, Senator Vogal patted Mr. Geung on the back long enough for Ethel Chin to take a photo then blew a kiss to Madame Daeng who matched his smile and, in southern Lao, told him he was related to a bog lizard. The others were Lao polite and left the VIP feeling that he’d built cultural bridges and mended wounds.
    Everyone wore their topcoats to dinner that night. The normally chill air had become even crisper since the sun was no longer allowed through to warm the earth. The dinner tables had been rearranged yet again. Tonight, with the arrival of the emperor, there was now a long head table facing the common masses. His Excellency sat dead center. To his left was General Suvan wearing a blank expression. A stray noodle dangled at the end of his chin. To the senator’s right was the vacant seat of Major Potter. Beside that sat Judge Haeng in a strikingly awful pale blue safari suit. He hadn’t yet dared move into the major’s seat but he eyed it with desire. As always, he attempted to catch the eye of Peach, perhaps believing the suit had rendered him irresistible. As always, she ignored him.
    There appeared to be no end to the American rations. This evening’s meal was some sort of instant lasagna—tasty but a test for false teeth. There were ever-present bottles