Sullivans 06 - Let Me Be the One

cursed.
    “I need a condom.”
    He gripped both of her hands and pulled her dripping wet from the shower, and across the bathroom floor to his bed. He was so strong—and so worked up—that he all but threw her down on the covers to wait for him as he yanked open his bedside drawer, found a condom, and ripped it open.
    She couldn’t wait for him to get it on and their hands tangled on his hard heat as they slid the latex down. And then his hands were on her breasts again and his mouth was on hers as he was pushing her back onto the bed and shoving her legs open to push inside of her.
    The sweet force of his desire for her—and hers for him—had her losing her breath again and she had to arch away from his mouth to throw her head back and gasp for it as she circled his hips with her legs and gripped his neck and shoulders. And, oh, was she glad for her strong sculptor’s hands as they rode each other, Ryan finally cresting the edge he’d been coming to again and again, while Vicki erupted one more beautiful time beneath her best friend.

Chapter Twenty-one
     
    The lights were still on in Ryan’s bedroom, the sky dark outside his window, when Vicki woke in his arms a while later. As soon as she shifted, he spoke.
    “I wore you out.”
    He effortlessly maneuvered her so that she was lying flat on her back and he was levered on his right arm looking down at her. He looked so pleased with himself, she couldn’t resist smiling at him.
    “You did. Three times, actually.”
    He grinned back at her and for a moment it was as if nothing had changed and they were just two friends who enjoyed each other’s company.
    Only, that wasn’t even the slightest bit true.
    Because everything had changed.
    Everything.
    As the smile fell from her lips, Ryan’s expression grew serious, too.
    “Don’t tell me it was weird again, Vicki. Not when we both know it was anything but.”
    She hated that she’d hurt him with what she’d so stupidly blurted that morning. “No, it wasn’t weird. It was great. Last night was great, too. But — ”
    He stopped her with a kiss. One that was just as sweet as it was sinful.
    “I’m going to let you finish saying what you have to say so that you can get every single one of those buts out of your system.” He stared down at her, his eyes dark with intense emotion. “And then you’re going to listen to what I have to say. So go ahead. Get it all out.”
    In the wake of his kiss—and the press of his hard muscles over her — she had to work really, really hard to ignore the fact that she and Ryan were completely naked in his bed. The problem was, she knew he was right, that if she didn’t give voice to all of her worries now, the next time they ended up in bed together, things would only be more confusing between them.
    “I know you would never hurt me, Ryan. Not on purpose, anyway. And I would never want to hurt you, either. But—” She paused, hating what came next. “—I just don’t see how this can end any way but badly when I’m made for the long term and you’re not.”
    A tic jumped in his jaw as he stared down at her. “How can you say I’m not made for the long term?”
    “How long has your longest relationship been?”
    “A few months.” His gaze softened as he added, “But none of them were you, Vicki.”
    His sweet words warmed her, of course they did, but she still had to ask, “And how many women have you been with?”
    Something flashed in his eyes and it looked a heck of a lot like remorse. “I’ve already told you that none of them mattered to me. You’re the only one who ever has.”
    The twisting of her stomach at the thought of all those women had her nodding. “You’re right, I don’t want—or need — to know the number.” Besides, if she extrapolated from their one year together in high school, she could make a pretty good guess.
    “I don’t see what my past has to do with our future.”
    “Here’s what: You’ve been with lots of women whom you freely admit didn’t matter. I’ve never done that.” Vicki lifted her chin and met his gaze squarely. “In my entire life, I’ve been with two men.”
    She could read the shock on his face, loud and clear. “Hold on a second. You were a virgin when you met your husband?”
    She didn’t want to be embarrassed about her choices. Not when they’d felt like the right ones at the time.
    “I wasn’t a total prude during college. I’d fooled around with a handful of guys, but I