Take Me 01 - Love Me

right back much harder.
    Janica Ellis was one tough chick.
    His tough chick.
    He wanted to believe her, wanted to believe he really had played a part in saving her.
    “I can see your brain whirring into overdrive,” Janica said. “Share with me. Please.”
    He looked at her, her big brown eyes so full of love. Understanding. He'd never given her his complete trust. He'd never shared all of himself with her. Because he'd been afraid.
    But almost losing her had scared him more than anything else ever could.
    Even letting her into the deepest darkest parts of his heart.
    “When my mother died, everything changed.”
    “Of course it did.”
    “No.” He didn't want her to let him off the hook this time. “I changed. I thought that maybe, somehow if I'd been a better son, a better person then maybe I could have saved her.”
    “You were ten years old.”
    “And I've spent the last twenty-five years trying to save her.”
    Tears were coming again now, not just from Janica, but from him too. He never cried, hadn't cried one single time since he was ten years old.
    Not until last night.
    “It's time for me to let go.” He ran his thumb across the top of Janica's hand. “I know that now. Because of you. I need you so badly. I've always needed you.”
    He wasn't surprised by her smile, even as tears ran from her eyes. “I know that. I've always known it.” Her smile wobbled. “I need you too.”
    But that was still what he didn't understand. “Why me? You're beautiful, incredible, brilliant. You could have anyone.”
    “I kept telling myself to stop loving you. To stop being stupid and praying for you to come around, but I couldn't help it. You're it for me, Dr. Carson. The only man I'll ever want again. The man I want to have children with and share my future with. I want you to be the husband I can count on and I want nights of incredible passion with you and I want you to be my best friend. I even love all of the things I tease you about.”
    Working like hell to take everything she was saying in and knowing he was failing, that he was going to have to ask her to say it all again and again, he said, “And you taught me how to have fun. You showed me everything I've been missing, everything I've been blind about. I don't want to be blind anymore.”
    “Don't worry,” she said with that wicked grin he couldn't help but love. “I'm always going to make you try wild things. And I'm always going to drive you crazy.” But then, her grin shifted to something far less joyful. “But I'll try not to embarrass you too much in public. And here at work.”
    Something shifted in him, again, that awful realization about what she'd said regarding Travis that night out on the beach. I see the way he treats Lily. I know how good he is to her. But that doesn't change his past.
    Her past. Even after all the reasons he given her about why he loved her, she was worried about the things she'd done. Worried that he would use them against her.
    “I know who you were, Janica. And I know who you are now. I love every part of you. The old. The new. Everything you're going to be. I will never be embarrassed by any part of you. You're not going to make me spank you for not listening, are you?”
    She blinked at him, a myriad of emotions crossing her face. “No. I won't make you spank me. Not for that anyway.”
    His erection stirred even as he tried to stay on task. “I am going to keep loving you every single second for the rest of your life. When we're laughing. When we're making love.” He paused, grinned. “Even when we're fighting and I have to turn you over my knee and bring my palm down on your sweet little ass to make my point.”
    She grinned. “We are going to fight, aren't we?”
    “And then we're going to make up.”
    Her wicked smile came back, bigger, more full of sensual promise than ever before. “Oh yes, we are.”

Chapter Twenty-six

    Two months later at the Festivale di Matrimonio (The Festival of Weddings) in Saturnia, Italy....

    “I can't believe we're back,” Lily said as she hugged Janica tightly.
    Janica could hardly believe it herself. The Tuscan village was as beautiful as she remembered. Music was playing on every corner, people were dancing in the street. Lily laughed when Travis came to steal her away and twirl her around in his arms as the sun began to set behind the ancient buildings.
    Luke came out of their hotel then, and stole her breath away as he looked at her with those dark,