Tales of the City 02 - More Tales of the City

made him that way?
    I can’t answer that, Mama. In the long run, I guess I really don’t care. All I know is this: If you and Papa are responsible for the way I am, then I thank you with all my heart, for it’s the light and the joy of my life.
    I know I can’t tell you what it is to be gay. But I can tell you what it’s not.
    It’s not hiding behind words, Mama. Like family and decency and Christianity. It’s not fearing your body, or the pleasures that God made for it. It’s not judging your neighbor, except when he’s crass or unkind.
    Being gay has taught me tolerance, compassion and humility. It has shown me the limitless possibilities of living. It has given me people whose passion and kindness and sensitivity have provided a constant source of strength.
    It has brought me into the family of man, Mama, and I like it here. I like it.
    There’s not much else I can say, except that I’m the same Michael you’ve always known. You just know me better now. I have never consciously done anything to hurt you. I never will.
    Please don’t feel you have to answer this right away. It’s enough for me to know that I no longer have to lie to the people who taught me to value the truth.
    Mary Ann sends her love.
    Everything is fine at 28 Barbary Lane.
    Your loving son,
M ICHAEL

The End
    M ARY ANN WAS SEVERELY SHAKEN WHEN SHE AND Burke left St. Sebastian’s. She had planned on staying most of the evening, but her tears had proved uncontrollable. Jon had promised, however, he would call her “if anything changes.”
    Back on Barbary Lane, she tried to thaw a strip steak under the hot-water tap.
    “Don’t do that on my account,” said Burke.
    “I thought you liked steak.”
    “I’m not hungry. Really.”
    She sighed and tossed the meat onto her Rubbermaid dish rack. “Neither am I.” She turned to face Burke, forcing a smile.
    “Do you know how I met Michael?”
    “In a supermarket, right?”
    “I told you already?”
    Burke nodded. “In Puerto Vallarta.”
    Mary Ann dried her hands with a dish towel and sat down opposite Burke at the kitchen table. “He was so cute, Burke … but I was furious with him, because he was with this guy I really liked, and all night long I just kept saying to myself, ‘What a waste … what a waste.’ I believed that, too. I really believed he was wasted, that he had gone wrong somehow. Of course, I told myself I felt sorry for him, but I was really just feeling sorry for myself. I found out all the Mr. Rights weren’t made for me, and I couldn’t handle it.”
    “That’s O.K. People change.”
    “I didn’t. Not for a long time. I used to feel … I don’t know. I guess I thought I could change him, become his friend and make him relax around women or something. I didn’t count on finding out that I was the one who needed to relax.”
    “Don’t be so hard on yourself.”
    “It’s the truth, Burke.”
    “Michael loves you, Mary Ann. You must’ve done something right.”
    “I hope.”
    “Hope? Dammit, Mary Ann, there were times in Mexico when I was almost eaten up with jealousy.”
    “Jealousy? Of Michael?”
    “Michael and you together. Michael and you laughing and conspiring together. Michael and you playing tricks on Arnold and Melba. Michael and you pretending—hell, you weren’t pretending—you were married. You were as married as two people could ever be.”
    She blinked at him in amazement, unconsciously fingering the funny little key around her neck. “Burke … I love you. I never meant to—”
    “I’m not accusing you. I just don’t want you to chastise yourself. Not about Michael. You two have had something great together.”
    She let go of the key and reached for his hand. “Could we go to the bedroom?” she asked.
    There, on the bed, she lay in his arms and cried.
    Later, they watched television, each pretending for the sake of the other to be interested. Then Burke rose and switched off the set.
    “Do you want to call the hospital?”
    “No … I … no.”
    “You might feel better.”
    “Jon’s there. I don’t think I should …”
    “I think Michael would like it.”
    “Well, what could I …?”
    The phone rang. They both jumped.
    “Do you want me to get it?” asked Burke.
    She hesitated. “No … I’ll get it.”
    She turned her back as she spoke. She didn’t want Burke to see her face.
    “Hi, Jon…. All right, I guess…. Yes…. God! Oh, my God! … No, I’m all right. What time did he….? Thanks….Yeah,