Tattered Love (Needle's Kiss)

little sister to me and you know that. I’m really worried she’s in trouble. She won’t let anyone help. Shit, I had to sneak up on her to find out what little I did.”
    My anger flared, blood roaring in my ears “I—I didn’t know. Why isn’t she telling anyone anything? I balled my fists holding the rage in “Why the fuck hasn’t anyone noticed anything?” I had to stop myself from tearing the hell out of the house and breaking everything in sight. I felt the heat in my face, the veins popping in my neck as I barely held it together. “Calm the fuck down, dude. She won’t. One, she thinks she can handle everything on her own; it’s all she’s ever done. Two, you—you screwed her over.” Trip sighed. “Look, she sort of let on that because you two spilt, she’s not inclined to share with me. I gotta say that pisses me the hell off. I love that girl. She’s just as much family as you and the girls, and you’ve fucked that up.”
    Sighing with frustration, I looked earnestly at Trip. “Something just doesn’t feel right, man. I think I made the wrong decision; it wouldn’t matter what I did, Janelle was gonna fuck this up”
    Fuck me! I knew I should’ve heard from Janelle by now. I gripped the back of my neck feeling the muscles there tight with worry and stress; she hadn’t contacted me for money. She should have by now, even though I’d cut her off. I knew she wouldn’t give up until she got what she wanted.
    Fuck this shit.
    “I’ll need your help then,” I told Trip, my decision made.
    “With?” he asked, eyebrows raised at my sudden determination.
    “I need to get my girl back, don’t I!”
    “’Bout fuckin time, dickhead,” he said, a giant smile spreading across his face. “What you got in mind?”

 

     
    It had been a few days since I had my falling out with Trip. He seemed to be keeping something from me. I supposed he was trying to hide the fact he’d told Mace about my meltdown.
    I was standing in the kitchen, the sun streaming through the windows, sipping my coffee and glaring at his favorite mug on the dish rack. I was tired and angry. How dare Mace be so gutless and just leave like that! Frankly, I didn’t give a shit if he thought he was doing the right thing or not. It was a spineless asshole move.
    He went and made me fall in love with him. He broke down all my freaking walls, which I’d erected high enough to feel safe again. And left. Just like that. Walked right out my front door.
    The sleepless nights were getting to me. My mood swings were making me hell to be around, and I was sick to death of crying and being emotional.
    Well fuck him! If he didn’t want me, that was just fine and mother fucking dandy!
    I stomped over to the dish rack, picked up his mug and threw it hard at the wall. The sound of the porcelain breaking was shrill, making my ears throb. Staring down at the broken fragments somehow made me emotional again. Those shards almost representing my broken relationship with the selfish man I loved. My eyes blurred as I leaned my hip on the counter with a shaky sigh.
    I didn’t need him or his stupid shit.
    Dumping my own coffee into the sink, I made for the carport turning up Pantera on the stereo as I went. Pulling on my boxing gloves, I took my frustration and anger out on the floor to ceiling boxing bag, picturing Mace’s face as I went. I pounded the bag harder with gritted teeth.
    Take that, fuck face !
    After an hour of punching the hell out of my bag, even with raw knuckles, I found no relief from the messed up thoughts in my head. I showered and dressed for the day, but before I did anything else, I needed to remove him from my daily life. I was a big fat bag of mixed emotions, and I’d had enough of being such a pussy. I don’t cry. I never did this squishy emotion bullshit. Stomping through my house with a box in my hand, I threw everything Mace had left behind into it. I sure as shit didn’t need his crap lying all over the place making it harder for me. Sealing up the box, I took it to the spare bedroom and shoved it in the far corner of the closet.
    Mulling over my situation, I busied myself downstairs tidying up, playing music and generally occupying myself. Everyday had been a struggle, working with Trip and not asking how Mace was; if he was suffering like I was, it was doing my head in. Living across the road from him and not storming over there to kick his ass for hurting me was killing me to the point I had been