The 100-Year-Old Man Who Climbed Out the Window and Disappeared

left in peace. So Benny had turned off the road that led to Växjö, and headed towards a much humbler place called Rottne. Perhaps there might be a small hotel there where they could spend the night.
    ‘Smart,’ said Julius appreciatively. ‘But perhaps not smart enough.’
    Julius explained what he meant. In Rottne there might be, at best, a little shabby hotel that nobody ever found their way to. If three gentlemen without a reservation suddenly turned up one evening it would attract considerable attention from the villagers. Better, in that case, to find a farm or a house somewhere in the forest and bribe their way into a room for the night and something to eat.
    Benny found Julius’ reasoning wise, and so he turned down the first insignificant gravel road he saw.
    It had just started to get dark when after almost four winding kilometres the three men saw a mailbox at the side of the road. On the mailbox it said: Lake Farm, and next to it was an even narrower track which they presumed would lead to it. And that turned out to be correct. A hundred metres further on they came across a house. It was a proper red two-storey farmhouse with white window frames and a barn. Further along beside a lake there was something that had once been a tool shed.
    The place seemed to be inhabited and Benny brought the Mercedes to a halt just in front of the entrance to the farm house. Then, out through the front door came a woman in her early forties, with frizzy red hair, wearing an even redder track suit, and with an Alsatian at her heel.
    The three men got out of the Mercedes. Julius glanced at the dog, but it didn’t look as if it would attack them. In fact, it gave the guests a curious, almost friendly look.
    So Julius dared to take his eyes off it. He said a polite ‘Good evening’ and explained their quest for a place to sleep and perhaps a bite to eat.
    The woman looked at the motley crew in front of her: an old man, a less old man, and a… rather stylish guy, she had to admit. And the right age too. And with a pony tail! She smiled to herself and Julius thought they were set, but then she said:
    ‘This is not a bloody hotel.’
    Allan sighed. He really was longing for something to eat and a bed. Life was exhausting now that he had decided to live a little longer. Say what you like about the Old People’s Home, at least it didn’t give him aches and pains all over his body.
    Julius looked disappointed too and said that he and his friends were lost and tired, and that they were naturally prepared to pay their way if only they could stay there the night. If absolutely necessary they could skip the food bit.
    ‘We’ll pay a hundred thousand crowns per person if you give us somewhere to sleep,’ Julius offered.
    ‘A hundred thousand crowns?’ said the woman. ‘Are you on the run?’
    Julius brushed her rather perceptive question aside and explained again that they had come a long way, and that although he could probably keep going, Allan here was advanced in years.
    ‘Yesterday was my hundredth birthday,’ said Allan in a pathetic voice.
    ‘One hundred?’ said the woman, almost frightened. ‘Well, I’ll be damned!’
    And then she was silent for a moment.
    ‘What the hell,’ she finally said. ‘I suppose you can stay. But forget the hundred thousand crowns. Like I said, this is not a bloody hotel I’m running here.’
    Benny gave her an admiring look. He had never heard a woman swear so much in such a short time. He thought it sounded delightful.
    ‘My beauty,’ he said. ‘May I pet your dog?’
    ‘Beauty?’ said the woman. ‘Are you blind? But sure, pet away. Buster is friendly. You can each have a room upstairs, there’s plenty of room here. The sheets are clean, but watch out for the rat poison on the floor. Dinner will be on the table in an hour.’
    The woman headed past the three guests towards the barn, with Buster faithfully at her side. Benny enquired in passing what her name might be. Without turning she said it was Gunilla but that she thought ‘Beauty’ sounded fine so ‘just bloody well keep to that’. Benny promised.
    ‘I think I’m in love,’ said Benny.
    ‘I know I’m tired,’ said Allan.
    At that very moment, they heard a bellowing from the barn that made even the exhausted Allan stand up straight. It must have come from a very large and possibly pained animal.
    ‘Cool it, Sonya,’ said The Beauty. ‘I’m on my damn way.’ 

Chapter 7
    1929–39
    The little