The Axeman's Jazz

time with him. So maybe I blame women for taking away my father. I don’t know.
    “Today I really felt bad—I had a bad break in business and I really needed someone to talk to. So I went to see an old friend and she wouldn’t see me. Sure, she might have had something else to do”—he twitched his shoulders, shrugging off the preposterous idea—“but I couldn’t help feeling the way I felt. The shrinks say there are no inappropriate feelings, so it can’t be wrong, the way I felt. Can it? I felt really bad, really rejected, really—well, betrayed, really. I really needed her and she wasn’t there.”
    Really?
thought Skip. She wondered if these groups could function without that word. It could make anyone sound sincere.
    Without it Alex would have been in big trouble. Because he didn’t sound hurt, he sounded angry.

TWENTY-THREE
    THERE WERE A few new faces at PJ’s for coffee that night—Cindy Lou’s black gorgeous one and Steve’s familiar one, for two. And the carefully made-up ones of two other women, shining with eagerness to chat up the new guy.
    Or maybe that was just Skip’s proprietary assessment. Nini, plump, snow-skinned, with blacker hair than nature ever made, was clutching her breasts, one in each red-taloned hand. But not seductively; out of obvious distress. “Oh, Di, you poor thing, what a horrible story. What a terrible thing to have happen to you.”
    “You were so brave,” said Peggy, hands ruffling brown curls, so nervous Skip wondered if she’d recently quit smoking. “I don’t know what it is about this place.”
    “This place?” asked Cindy Lou.
    “The quality of medical care. I had real bad PMS and they told me I’d have to have a hysterectomy. So I called my old doctor in Minneapolis and she told me to take vitamin B6. I told that to my doctor here and you know what he said? He said, ‘Oh, sure, go ahead and take the vitamins if you really want to; but in New Orleans women usually want hysterectomies.’ ”
    Steve gave her the smile she seemed to be craving. “Did they work?”
    She returned the smile with added wattage: “Like a miracle. I’m the only woman in town with non-raging hormones.”
    It looked as if Nini’d lost out if Steve was what she’d come for, but apparently he wasn’t. “Di, I really have to ask you something. I’m thinking of having a breast reduction and your story terrified me. Just the way you described that man…” She dug in her fingernails and squeezed, apparently unaware of the spectacle she was creating. “I got the willies the worst kind of way. The thing is, I’ve got a weird feeling about this guy I went to. I mean, everybody says he’s the best, but I just don’t know. What if … I mean, I swear to God, I’d rather go around with these”—she literally held them up, and an impressive pair they were, too—“the rest of my life.” Finally she blurted, “Could you possibly consider telling me who it was?”
    “Oh, gosh. I don’t think so,” said Di. “I don’t think I should.”
    “Oh.” Nini looked as if she were fighting tears.
    “Why not?” said Missy.
    “I don’t know. I don’t want to get sued.”
    Alex said, “Why would you get sued?”
    “What if it got in the paper or something?”
    “You’re the one who should sue, not him.”
    “I don’t know. I just don’t feel I should.” Di had turned pink; she looked so uncomfortable, Skip wondered if she’d made the whole thing up.
    Cindy Lou said, “Di, why are you protecting this man? He maimed you, he mutilated you, he insulted you, he injured you, and he’s obviously caused you great mental anguish. He can’t sue you and you know it. You’ve got nothing to fear from him, but he ought to worry about you, girl. I bet he does, too. And here are you are saving his ass. Now, I know you’re codependent ’cause you said so, but that’s not a good enough reason. I want to know why you’re protecting this criminal.”
    “You’re right!” Di had slammed a hand on the table, causing everyone’s coffee to shimmy and spill. Shocked at herself, she apologized and removed the fractious hand with her other, as if it were a miscreant pet. “You’re absolutely right,” she said again. “Why the hell am I shielding him? He can keep on doing that and doing that…”
    “Unless somebody speaks up,” said Cindy Lou.
    “Okay. Okay, here goes. I’m saying it in front of witnesses, okay? Everybody listening? It was Robson Gerard. Also known