The Charm School

lighter note. “When I get home, and as I’m tooling down the highway in my ’Vette through the glorious Virginia countryside, listening to the Air Force–Army game and eating a banana, my thoughts will be of you here, drinking your breakfast vodka as you watch the snow rise over your windowsills.”
    This brought some hisses and laughter. Everyone was clearly drunk by now, Hollis thought, except him. He saluted and stepped away from the podium to the accompaniment of applause.
    Martindale introduced Lisa, who also got a standing ovation, as the combo played “Lara’s Theme.” She took the microphone. “Thank you all so much. I’ve never been kicked out of a country before, and I never knew it could be so much fun.” Lisa thanked the people in her office who made her tour of duty tolerable and said, “I also want to thank Charles Banks, who tried so hard to keep me out of trouble. Charles, for those of you who are not honored to know him, is a man torn between his duty as the ambassador’s personal aide and his desire to be a human being. A man whose familiarity with Russia has prompted him to declare that Borodino is the best Italian red wine produced in the Soviet Union.”
    Banks called out, “I always order it with babushka.”
    Lisa concluded, “I wish I could stay with you and continue my work here. I know that somewhere down the line we’ll all cross paths again, but this will remain the incomparable assignment of a lifetime for all of us. Thank you.”
    As everyone clapped, Hollis unexpectedly took the microphone again and said, “I would be remiss if I did not thank a man who has become a friend of mine and of Lisa Rhodes, for his wise counsel and for showing me the ropes in Moscow. I’m speaking of a very industrious political affairs officer, Seth Alevy.”
    Alevy was standing off to the side, his thumbs hooked in the pockets of his vest. He nodded perfunctorily in acknowledgment of the scant applause. It was obvious to Hollis that very few of the three hundred people present knew Seth Alevy, and those who did were not his fans.
    Lisa glanced over at Hollis with a warm smile and a wink.
    Hollis and Lisa stepped down from the platform as Martindale said, “Dance music, maestro, please. Have fun, everyone.”
    The combo played “In the Still of the Nite,” and Lisa took Hollis onto the dance floor. As they danced, she said, “That was very nice of you to thank Seth.”
    Hollis grumbled a reply.
    “My alarm clock is crushing your pear.”
    Hollis took a bite out of the pear and passed it to her. She bit into it and laughed. She said between chews, “This is the first time we’ve danced. I love this song.”
    “Five Satins, 1956.”
    “Who? When?”
    Hollis smiled.
    She held him closer, and they glided over the parquet floor. “Did you grind to this when you were a horny little guy?”
    “Sure did.”
    “God, I can’t believe you were getting erections before I was born.”
    “I couldn’t wait for you.”
    The combo segued into “Since I Don’t Have You.”
    Lisa said, “I’m not being facetious, but there’s obviously some degree of status attached to being kicked out of the Soviet Union. I never realized just how much contempt and disdain we have for this country. I mean, Gary Warnicke’s skit was a mockery—no wonder the ambassador is coming late.”
    “It’s just a lot of frustration and nervous energy pouring out.”
    “It’s more than that, and you know it. It’s scary, Sam.”
    “What is?”
    “How much we
hate
them.”
    Hollis didn’t reply.
    Lisa looked around the dance floor. “These press people won’t report—”
    “They damned well better not, or they’ll never see the inside of this or any other American embassy again. This is strictly off-the-record, and they knew that when they were invited.”
    “Yes, they’re a good crew. Here in Moscow we realize we’re on the same side. They’re pleasant to work with.” She said, “I’m sad. I don’t want to leave.”
    “Things could be worse. We could be dead.”
    She didn’t reply.
    “Never look back on this place, Lisa. Never go back, even if they allow you to. Promise me that.”
    “No, I won’t promise that.”
    Hollis stepped away from her. “I badly need a drink.”
    “Stay sober enough to do me some good tonight.”
    “I won’t promise. You can dance with Alevy if you want. You don’t need my permission anyway.”
    “No, I don’t. But thanks for saying that.”
    Hollis made his