The Charm School

straw to keep a bullet from ricocheting.
    “Address your appeal to the Chairman of the Committee for State Security.”
    Hollis picked up the pen and asked, “In Russian or English?”
    “It doesn’t matter.”
    Hollis began writing, and the lieutenant remained behind him. In contrast to confessions, the appeal was obviously supposed to be short, as he had only one sheet of paper.
    Hollis heard the metal snap of the holster, the pistol sliding over the leather, and the click of the hammer being cocked.
    Hollis continued to write. He found that his mouth had gone dry and his palms were moist. He controlled his hand as he finished the last line of the appeal of his death sentence. Hollis signed his appeal, put the pen down, and waited, wondering if he’d actually hear the blast or feel anything.
    He heard the hammer click again, the pistol slide into the holster, and the snap close. The lieutenant chuckled softly and said, “Leave it there. Stand.”
    Hollis stood, and the lieutenant brought him back to his cell. The Russian said, “Your appeal will be decided within twenty-four hours. It is not humane to have you waiting much longer to learn your fate.” He closed and bolted the door.
    The light was on, and Hollis knew Burov was taking some pleasure in watching him. Hollis wanted to urinate but didn’t. He sat on his sleeping bag and closed his eyes. He knew that he should be playing the game for Burov, should be shaking with fear at the waste hole, drinking water to wet his dry mouth. He knew that if he didn’t give Burov any pleasure, then Burov, in his pique, would consider Hollis a malfunctioning toy and get rid of him.
    Hollis rose slowly, went to the waste hole, and urinated. He drank from the spigot, retched, then drank again. He took a deep breath, went to his sleeping bag, and pulled it over his head. The lights went off.
    An image of Lisa walking beside him on that sunny Saturday in Arbat Street filled the darkness behind his eyes. He pictured her face with various expressions, and each expression froze for a moment, as if he were taking photographs with his mind. He found himself slipping into a sort of twilight sleep, the only sort of sleep he’d been capable of for some time. There seemed to be less and less difference between his waking periods and these periods of shadowy consciousness, and he could not distinguish dreams from waking hallucinations. What he longed for was a deep, recuperative sleep, but that no longer seemed possible.
    Finally he slipped into real sleep and had a real dream, a dream he never wanted to have again—his F-4, its controls dead in his hands, the cockpit filled with blue smoke and red blood, and the sea rushing up at him, then the sky, sea, sky, as the aircraft rolled wing over wing and his hand clutched at the eject trigger.
    Hollis jumped to his feet, his face covered with sweat and his heart trying to get out of his chest. He screamed, “Simms! Simms!” then sank to the floor, covered his face, and remained motionless.
    * * *
    The door opened, and a guard said tonelessly, “Come with me.”
    Hollis stood and followed the man into the corridor. A second guard fell in behind them, and they began walking. The guard to his rear said to Hollis, “Mikhail Kolotilov was a friend of mine, you fucking murderer.”
    Hollis made no reply. The guard to his front turned into the narrow staircase along the wall, and they went to the second floor. The Russian knocked on a door and opened it. The man behind him poked Hollis toward the door, and Hollis entered.
    Colonel Burov sat at his desk in a spartan concrete office. There was a single window in the wall, and Hollis saw it was evening. The concrete walls were painted the color and texture of crusty yellowed cream, and on the concrete floor was a brick-red rug with a central Asian design. On the wall behind Burov’s desk hung the same two pictures as in the tribunal room, but in addition, there was the necessary picture of Lenin.
    “Sit down, Hollis.”
    Hollis sat in a wooden chair facing the desk, and the door closed behind him.
    Burov held up Hollis’ written confession. “Fascinating. I’m quite impressed with your ability to avoid capture. As you know, we discovered your car at Gagarin station. What you don’t know is that we found out about Yablonya as well. I’m glad to see you were truthful about that.”
    Hollis rubbed the stubble on his chin and suppressed a cough.
    “Your girlfriend, however, was not.