The Dark Lady

minimum of five years,” I said, hoping that I hadn't overestimated the length of his lawless career.
    “Registered.”
    I tried to think of further limiting criteria, but my mind was a blank.
    “Based on the data I have given you,” I said at last, “how many men still possess the requisite qualifications?”
    “I must access the Census Bureau on Deluros VIII to answer your question.”
    “Please do so.”
    “Whenever I access an off-world computer for data, there is a cost involved. To whose account should it be billed?”
    It was a difficult question. Obviously I could not pass the cost along to Claiborne or Malcolm Abercrombie, since this had nothing to do with them. On the other hand, I myself could not pay for it, since all my salary was deposited in a House of Crsthionn account.
    “Please charge the cost to Reuben Venzia,” I said after some consideration.
    “I have no authorization to make such a billing. Please stand by while I access his personal computer.” There was a moment's silence. “Reuben Venzia has agreed to accept all charges. I am now accessing Deluros VIII. I estimate that it will take thirty to forty minutes for me to complete my survey. I can continue speaking to you during the interim, or if you wish to use any of the library's other facilities, I can summon you when I am ready.”
    “I think I will leave for a few minutes,” I said.
    The computer went dark, and I left the cubicle, expecting to feel the usual flood of warmth and security that I experienced whenever I entered a crowd of sentient beings. As I walked to the center of the room, surrounded by some twenty non-humans, I did indeed feel an immediate sense of well-being, but it did not begin to compare to the surge of emotion I had felt each time I further narrowed down the Dark Lady's field of potential suitors. Ordinarily this would have troubled me deeply, but I was so intent on deducing the identity of the man who would be the next to entice her across the barrier between spirit and flesh that I scarcely noticed it at all.
    I remained in the company of my fellow beings for half an hour, feeling more and more anxious with each passing minute. Finally I returned to the cubicle and simply stared at the blank screen until the computer came to life again a few moments later.
    “Summoning Leonardo of Benitarus II,” it said over the library's public address system.
    “I am right here,” I replied. “Do you have the information I seek?”
    “Based on the records of the Central Census Bureau on Deluros VIII, which may be incomplete, 7,213,482 men fulfill your criteria.”
    “Are you still tied in to Deluros?” I asked.
    “No, but I have temporarily retained all the pertinent data in my memory banks,” answered the computer. “I will erase it when you have completed your inquiry.”
    “Based on the data you have accumulated, can you see any obvious means of narrowing the list even further?”
    “Yes,” replied the computer. “If the Dark Lady is to visit the man you seek, I suggest the elimination of all married men.”
    “But Christopher Kilcullen was married,” I pointed out.
    “He was divorced from his fourth wife at the time he painted the portrait of the Dark Lady.”
    “I had forgotten that,” I admitted. “How many of the men are married?”
    “4,302,198 are married.”
    “Eliminate them,” I ordered.
    “Done.”
    “How many remain on the list?”
    “2,911,284 men remain,” responded the computer.
    “We can't check out almost three million men,” I murmured. “We must reduce the number still further.”
    “Waiting... ”
    “Let us assume that if someone has been courting the Dark Lady assiduously for more than twenty years, she would have already appeared to him,” I suggested.
    “Nothing in the data you have given me would imply that this is true.”
    “I know, but I must try to narrow the list. How many men will this criterion eliminate?”
    “1,033,102 men will be eliminated.”
    “And how many remain?”
    “1,878,182 men remain.”
    “Eliminate those men who have voluntarily entered life-threatening situations on less than twenty occasions.”
    “682,646 men will be eliminated.”
    “Now eliminate those men who have voluntarily entered life-threatening situations on less than fifty occasions.”
    “1,121,400 men will be eliminated.”
    “How many remain?”
    “74,136 men remain.”
    “Now eliminate those men who have voluntarily entered life-threatening situations on