The Darkside Of The Sun

Ptarmigan sharply. ‘And we’ll have no more talk about that world in this place.’
    ‘I think it’s Earth,’ said Joan firmly. The Emperor turned.
    ‘That’s a very homocentric statement. Can you justify it?’
    She nodded. ‘It’s an old theory, after all. The Jokers were human, and I mean human human – sorry, Hrsh-Hgn, but you know what I mean – and they finally settled on Earth long before we were anything more than apes. They interbred with us eventually. Circumstantial evidence points to this. A lot of aliens consider the Jokers were human. Earth was the only planet apart from the Creapii homeworld to produce a race capable of reaching even its satellite … thirdly, Earthmen are the sort who would build something like the Chain Stars or the Centre of the Universe, just for the hell of it. Lastly, Earth is the home of the Joker Institute. It practically runs the planet. Half the directors of the Board of Earth are also in the Institute management committee. And the theory runs that the whole shooting match is run by a clique of pure-blooded Jokers as a sly way of thwarting Joker studies. They have made attempts on Dom’s life, for their ridiculous reasons. They don’t want Jokers World found by anyone, but themselves.’
    Hrsh-Hgn coughed. ‘I sshould point out that ssimilar theoriess have been current with phnobes, drosks, Creapii, tarquins, sspoonerss and a sscore of otherss. Every race sseess itsself in the Jokerss. The Creapii ssay, who but Creapii could amasss the knowledge to capture the Centre of the Universse? The phnobess ssay, who but phnobes would have the insight into Totality to fasshion the Chain Sstars sso perfectly? The sspoonerss say, who but such ass we could have the reimtole into gramepe to sset the Maze? The tarquins broadcast, who but—’
    ‘Point made,’ said the Emperor.
    ‘There is only one Sun in the universe,’ said Dom.
    They watched him struggle with his thoughts.
    ‘It’s simple,’ he said, and looked perplexedly at their expressions. ‘There are plenty of stars, but the real Sun, the red bright thing is intelligent life.’
    It was tantalizingly close. He saw through them and beyond the room, into the cosmopolitan world of the fifty-two known races, and inside that, snug as the yolk in the egg, the world of the Jokers on the dark side of the sun.
    He wondered if the knowledge was being fed into his mind, and decided against it. He could provide too clear a chain of reasoning. All the loose ends tied up neatly, just like in a good probability math equation.
    He had thought his father went knowingly to his death, as a good probability mathemagician should do. But his father had also been going to …
    He heard a damp sizzle. Someone said: ‘This really is too bad.’ Someone was standing in the doorway.
    Ways frowned into the muzzle of his molecule stripper and stepped further into the room.
    ‘Good evening, Your Eminence, and assembled gentry. Now, at this point someone usually makes an impassioned call for the guard.’
    The walls disappeared. Three guards fired at Ways simultaneously, and disappeared in clouds of light dust.
    ‘The essence of the molecule stripper is the little matrix engine which can, in very rare circumstances, arc over and reverse the field,’ said Ways. ‘I believe that just happened.’
    The Emperor recovered first. He poured out more wine, proffered the glass to Ways, and smiled thinly.
    ‘Would you explain how you got in?’ he said. ‘I must review our alarm system.’
    ‘Certainly. I brought my ship down on the terrace. I expect most of your alarms failed.’
    ‘You are lucky,’ said Ptarmigan mildly.
    ‘I was built so. You made me, in fact.’
    ‘Ah yes. Luck as an electronic faculty. I remember supervising the plans myself. What a pity we didn’t think of incorporating some kind of switch.’
    ‘It wouldn’t have worked,’ said Ways. ‘But enough of this chitter-chatter. How can I kill Dom Sabalos, who is invulnerable? If I dropped a rock on his head Brownian motion would contrive to knock it off course.’
    Sharli swung her koto . It flashed towards Ways’ chest and collapsed like tinfoil. She stared at it in disbelief.
    ‘Don’t worry,’ he said. ‘A statistically possible chance can happen to anyone. Excuse me.’ He drew a simple United Spies official-issue assassination gun and fired at Dom again.
    The bullet stopped in mid-air and boiled.
    A faint tremor ran round the universe.
    ‘Molecular