The Different Girl

finger?”
    “I caught it on a fishhook.”
    “Why is your boat named Mary ?”
    “Mary was Will’s mother. She died.”
    “Did she have an accident?”
    “What happened in the storm?” asked Caroline.
    Irene put a hand on Caroline’s shoulder, because at that question May went still again.
    “I don’t know,” she finally said. “I fell out of my bunk. It was dark, it was too noisy to hear. I fell into water—water in the cabin. I shouted for Will and Cat. I went on deck. I should have stayed below. I couldn’t hear anyone. I didn’t know. The swells were too big. I couldn’t hang on.”
    “What are swells?” asked Eleanor, blinking. “What is deck”?
    May sniffed.
    “Swell is another word for wave,” said Irene quietly. “Deck is the floor on a boat.”
    We all nodded, filling things in.
    “Why did you have your bag?” I asked May.
    “We might be sinking.”
    “Were you sinking?”
    May shook her head. Her voice was soft. “I never saw. I wish I could have done something.”
    “Water is extremely dangerous for anyone,” whispered Isobel.
    • • •
    Irene carried May back to the classroom. Even though everyone still had questions, May stopped being able to sit without yawning, like Robbert did at breakfast. Robbert stayed while we got ready for bed. We lay on our cots, a little worried that it wasn’t Irene saying good night like usual, but for once Robbert wasn’t in a hurry. He sat next to our folded smocks, with the light turned off, in a quiet that at first made us think he still had questions but then was only quiet by itself.
    Very softly, I began to sing. The others sang with me, soft and clear, filling the room like moonlight.

    A honeybee is born to roam
    To search for flowers sweet,
    Across the waves of whitest foam
    For just one blossom treat.

    No matter where it finds itself,
    A bee can find its home.
    A honeybee is very brave.
    It works so very hard,
    From birth until its honeyed grave
    The hive and Queen to guard.

    No matter where it finds itself,
    A bee can find its home.

    Our voices faded, leaving only the breeze outside. Irene stood in the doorway.
    “I heard you singing. I thought you’d be asleep.”
    “We were waiting for you,” said Robbert, and suddenly it seemed like we had been, all of us waiting to be together after such a busy day. Irene sat next to Robbert, listening with us to the night.
    “What will happen now?” whispered Caroline. She was across the room in the dark. I thought about what Caroline knew, and what I didn’t.
    “We’ll go to sleep,” said Irene. She went to Caroline first, whispering in her ear. I wanted to hear what she said. I wanted to know if something had changed and, because inside I knew it had, whether we could change it back.
    She came to me last, like always.

5.

    The next morning Caroline woke having had a dream. While Eleanor tied my smock I watched Caroline sit with her head cocked to one side, staring at nothing. Irene knelt next to her, whispering quietly. Caroline stood, still caught in her thoughts, while Irene unfolded her smock. As she dressed her, Irene spoke to the rest of us, waiting patiently for Caroline to find her own way to being awake.
    “I asked everyone to think about what we can do with the sailcloth in the yard. It will be dry by now, and I was hoping we could try some of your ideas.”
    She had Caroline’s ties done and took her hand. Irene pointed with her chin at the kitchen and the three of us got going on breakfast, putting water in the kettle and measuring tea for the pot. Irene and Caroline stayed in the bedroom for another few minutes. When they finally came in Caroline was focused as ever, going straight to the cupboard for the oatmeal, which was what Irene had decided to cook.
    “Will May have breakfast with us?” asked Eleanor, setting the table.
    “Not this morning,” said Irene. “She’s still asleep.”
    Isobel asked how much May slept normally versus how much she slept now and whether that was a question of living on a boat or nearly drowning or the yellow pills. While Irene answered, I noticed Caroline looking at me. Eleanor asked Irene about May’s bandages, how many there had been before versus how many she had now and which ones would be the last to come off, or would there be some that never did, and also about the scab on the side of May’s face.
    “What did you dream?” I asked, deciding to whisper. Caroline shook her head.
    “Veronika?”
    I turned to Irene,