The Dinosaur Feather

have had a fit. She texted him again.
    Haven’t you hibernated for long enough now?
No reaction. Damn! She called him. It went straight to answer. Thoroughly annoyed at this stage, she began going through his drawers. Chaos everywhere. Papers, notes and books. She wasn’t looking for anything in particular, nor did she find anything interesting. It was coming up for two o’clock. She switched off her computer and packed up her stuff. She wanted to speak to Johannes. He had said they were still friends, so he had to talk to her. They couldn’t go on not speaking.
    She was about to leave when she remembered the necklace. She took out the small white box. Fancy Professor Helland buying her a present. No man had ever given Anna jewellery. The pendant couldn’t be mass-produced; after all, how many people would appreciate the significance of an egg and afeather? Helland must have had it made especially for her. She held up the chain and put it on. Then she left. As she passed Helland’s office, she said out loud: ‘Sorry, but there’s no way I’m thanking a door.’
    She caught the bus to Vesterbro and headed for the street where Johannes lived. As she crossed Istedgade, she was reminded of a winter’s night, a long time ago, when Thomas and she had left a bar where they had spent three hours. It had snowed in the meantime, Copenhagen had been enchanting and they decided to walk all the way home. There was white virgin snow, the clouds had long since disappeared and they could see a million stars. In front of their block, Thomas had pressed Anna up against the wall.
    ‘Let’s not go inside,’ he whispered. ‘It’s beautiful out here.’
    ‘Love me,’ Anna said suddenly. ‘Love me, no matter what happens.’
    ‘Anna,’ he said. ‘I love you no matter what. It’s you and me for ever. With kids and the whole kit and caboodle.’ He laughed. Anna had started to cry.
    The next morning all the snow had gone. That was four years ago now.
    Anna crossed Enghave Plads, where the winos still hung out even though the temperature had dropped to below zero. It had started snowing and she pulled up her hood. She had visited Johannes several times, and it had always been enjoyable. Johannes had treated her to a selection of unusual sandwiches of his own design and made tea in individual cups rather than in a pot. Every time he brought her a fresh cup, it would be accompanied by a crunchy biscuit on the saucer.On one occasion, he had starting quizzing her about her private life. Not just superficial information, such as
grew up in a village outside Odense, single parent
, but personal stuff.
    Johannes had long since told Anna everything about himself that mattered. His father had died when he was very young and he had acquired a stepfather, Jørgen, when his mother remarried. His stepfather owned a furniture emporium and hoped that Johannes would take it over one day. It had been very hard for Johannes to fight this expectation. He hadn’t really got his life together until he joined the goth scene, where he had met a uniquely accepting community. In a voice that came close to breaking, Johannes had told her about his younger sister. In return, Anna felt she ought to be honest about her own life.
    At first, she tried to get away with the edited version, and initially Johannes bought it. But the next time they met he had said: ‘Anna, you really can trust me.’
    It had taken Anna two hours to tell him the story about Thomas. She had fallen pregnant and Thomas hadn’t been pleased. Anna had raged and cried. She didn’t want an abortion. Neither of them had worried about contraception for almost three months! When Thomas finally acquiesced, Anna convinced herself she had read too much into his initial reaction. A child was something abstract to a man, and he had simply been incapable of relating to it. They were going to live happily ever after.
    Shortly after Lily was born, the rug was pulled from under Anna’s feet. Lily woke up four to five times every night, and Anna could barely breathe when Thomas came home from work; it felt like she had a metal hoop clamped around herchest. She cried, she screamed. She hammered her fists against his chest, woke him up at night because she couldn’t bear to be alone. Thomas withdrew from her. He worked late, went to bed early, ignored her when she spoke to him. And yet she didn’t see the split coming.
    With her voice subdued and her head lowered, she confessed the most