The Distance Between Us

hadn’t even been by this week. Stupid mind. Why didn’t it tell me these things earlier? I had obviously misinterpreted his reactions to things. I feel stupid. He really just wanted to be friends.
    I swallow the tears. Good. This is what I need—a clean break. A firm break. I look at the picture of Sadie Newel. She is beautiful and sophisticated and much more his type.
    Henry appears from behind the van. “So are we ready to record our first single?” He’s holding up his phone. “Xander says the studio is totally free right now.”
     
    “Are you okay?” Skye asks quietly. I’m smashed in the middle seat between her and Derrick, the drummer.
    “I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be?” And by “fine” I mean freaking out. We are going to see Xander. I am going to have to face him. This is not good. I consider flinging myself out of the van now that this news has sunk in properly.
    “Because you just found out the guy you like has a girlfriend.” She points to the magazine that had been thrown back into the van and somehow ended up under my foot (I may or may not have purposefully ground my heel into Sadie’s perfect face).
    “Was it that obvious?”
    She shrugs. “Give me some credit. I am your best friend.”
    “Yeah, well, I’m over him.”
    “That was fast.”
    “That’s because I’ve been trying to get over him since the minute I met him so I’m one step ahead of myself.”
    She pats my knee like she thinks I’m in denial. I am not in denial.
    Okay, so I’m totally in denial, but I need her to play along with me until all the feelings I am trying to convince myself I have are actually true.
    I’m hoping the studio and Xander aren’t a package deal. Because I’m not ready to face him at the moment. It’s completely possible that he just called the studio and told them the band was coming. It didn’t mean he would be there. At least that’s what I tell myself during the fifteen-minute car ride where all the band members are talking excitedly over one another. We drive through a security checkpoint, past a wrought iron gate and onto a tiled drive. The second I see a huge fountain and a house with more windows than I can easily count I realize the studio and Xander are a package deal—they live in the same place.

Chapter 23

    X ander meets us in the circular drive, and I try to stay hidden at the back of the group. I wonder how embarrassed I should be about my behavior over the last couple of months. Had he sensed my racing heart every time he came around? Had I looked at him with those stupid doe eyes? Skye had picked up on it. He probably had, too. And now he’s going to think I asked the band if I could tag along just so I could see him.
    “The studio is around the back,” Xander says as the guys start to grab their instruments from the van. The sound of his voice makes my eyes sting again. I curse at myself. He continues, “And it’s totally up to you, but the studio has its own instruments if you don’t want to carry all this.”
    “Awesome,” Mason says, putting his guitar back. Henry shuts the back.
    “Follow me,” Xander says. It takes him a minute to notice me. I had hidden myself pretty well behind Skye and between the bass player, Mike, and the drummer, Derrick. He furrows his brow. “Hey. I didn’t know you were coming.”
    “I didn’t either.” I know that sounds squeaky and wrong because my throat is so tight but I try to pretend like I’m perfectly fine.
    He hesitates for a second, almost like he wants to say more but says, “Okay, let’s go.” He gestures for everyone to follow. I realize he expects me to catch up with him, walk next to him. I only know this because he glances over his shoulder a few times as we make the journey through his huge yard, past his built-in pool and basketball court. But I stay where I am, between two almost strangers, listening to them banter back and forth. I’m going to prove to him that I know we’re just friends. That we were always just friends. Not only that, but that I have other friends, too, and he doesn’t have to worry about me throwing myself at him.
    “Okay, guys,” he says, opening the door and setting his keys and cell phone on the small table to the left. “Get comfortable with the toys. I’ll fire up the equipment.” The band immediately attacks the instruments while Xander stays on this side of the large glass window and starts messing with slides and buttons. Skye floats onto a couch behind