The Drop

arm around his daughter’s shoulders. He knew that other girls her age weren’t learning about guns and shooting. They weren’t watching their fathers at night poring over murder books and autopsies and crime scene photos. They weren’t left alone in the house while their fathers went out with their guns to chase bad guys. Most parents were raising citizens of the future. Doctors, teachers, mothers, keepers of family businesses. Bosch was raising a warrior.
    A momentary thought of Hannah Stone and her son shot through him and he squeezed his daughter’s shoulder again. He had been thinking about something and it was now time to discuss it.
    “You know,” he said, “you don’t have to do any of this if you don’t want to. Don’t do it for me, Mads. The gun stuff. The being a cop thing, too. You do what you want to do. You make your own choices.”
    “I know, Dad. I do make my own choices and it’s what I want. We talked about this a long time ago.”
    It was Bosch’s hope that she would be able to leave her past behind and forge something new. He had been unable to do it himself and it haunted him that she might be the same way.
    “Okay, baby. There’s a lot of time between now and then anyway.”
    A few minutes went by while he thought of things. He could see the disguised oil derricks in the harbor just coming into view. A call came in on his cell and he saw it was from David Chu. He let it go to message. He wasn’t going to spoil this moment with work or, more likely, Chu groveling for a second chance. He put the phone away and kissed the top of his daughter’s head.
    “I guess I’ll always have to worry about you,” he said. “It’s not like you could want to be a teacher or something safe like that.”
    “I hate school, Dad. Why would I want to be a teacher?”
    “I don’t know. To change the system, make it better so the next kids don’t hate it.”
    “One teacher? Forget it.”
    “It just takes one. It always starts with one. Anyway, like I said, you do what you want. You’ve got time. I guess I’ll worry about you no matter what you do.”
    “Not if you teach me all you know. Then you won’t have to worry because I’ll be like you out there.”
    Bosch laughed.
    “If you’re like me out there, then I’ll have to walk around all day with rosary beads in one hand, a rabbit’s foot in the other and maybe a four-leaf clover tattooed on my arm.”
    She drove an elbow into his side.
    Bosch let another few minutes go by. He pulled his phone and checked to see if Chu had left a message. There was nothing and Bosch figured his partner had been calling to once again plead his case. It was not the kind of thing you would put into a voicemail.
    He put the phone away and turned the father-daughter conversation more serious.
    “Look, Mads, I’ve been wanting to tell you something else, too.”
    “I know, you’re marrying the lady with the lipstick?”
    “No, serious now, and there was no lipstick.”
    “I know. What is it?”
    “Well, I’m thinking about turning in my badge. Retiring. It might be time.”
    She didn’t respond for a long time. He had expected an immediate and urgent demand that he trash such thoughts but to her credit she seemed to be running it through her processes and not kicking out a first and possibly wrong response.
    “But why?” she finally asked.
    “Well, I am thinking that I’m tailing off, you know? Like anything—athletics, shooting, playing music, even creative thinking—there’s a drop-off of skills at a certain point. And, I don’t know, but maybe I’m getting there and I should get out. I’ve seen people lose their edge and it increases the danger. I don’t want to miss the chance to see you grow up and shine at whatever you decide you want to do.”
    She nodded as if in agreement but then the keen perception and disagreement came out.
    “You’re thinking all of this because of one case?”
    “Not just the one case but that’s a good example. I totally went the wrong way with it. I have to think that wouldn’t have happened five years ago. Even two years ago. I might be losing the edge you need to do this.”
    “But sometimes you have to go the wrong way to find the right way.”
    She turned in her seat to look directly at him.
    “Like you told me, you make your own choices. But if I were you, I wouldn’t do anything real quick.”
    “I’m not. There’s a guy out there that I have to find first. I was thinking that would be a