The Ghost and The Haunted Mansion: A Haunted Bookshop Mystery

of the clientele it’s bringing in? They’ve got more tattoos than a brace of Malay sailors. Some of them have pins sticking out of their ears, noses, lips, and a few other places your prim little eardrums wouldn’t relish hearing about—
    “Excuse me, but—”
    For a second, I thought a tribe of New Guinea cannibals had come calling.
    “Oh, for goodness’ sake! They’re just college students, Jack! In a few years, their piercings will be gone and their tattoos will be covered up with button-downs and blazers. Some of them might even be scribbling PhD beside their names.”
    In my experience, a few fancy letters behind some Alvin’s name is like a vaccine against common sense.
    I shook my head and Jack fell silent for a few minutes. The deep freeze had lessened into a pleasant coolness and the car’s interior was much more comfortable now. Still, I frowned at the SUV bumper in front of me and checked my watch again. The funeral procession was moving with all the speed of maple tree sap.
    A big, bronze vintage Harley blew by me in the opposite lane. Before I’d even caught a glimpse of Leo Rollins’s shiny gold helmet, I would have recognized his uniquely customized engine by its odd high-low-pitched sound. Other than Leo, however, there was no one else. No other traffic was traveling back from Larchmont Avenue.
    “If I floor the accelerator,” I murmured, “I could pass this grim parade in about thirty seconds—”
    DON’T DO IT, SISTER!
    The ghost’s angry blast of icy air had me shivering again. Now my goose bumps had goose bumps. “Jack! You’re going to give me a heart attack!” I told the ghost. “Which means your little frights may just kill me quicker than an oncoming pickup!”
    There’s nothing wrong with your heart, baby. But you’ll flirt with a head-on collision over my dead body.
    “Very funny.”
    What?
    “You’re the first person I’ve ever heard say, ‘Over my dead body,’ who actually has a dead body.”
    Listen, honey, you’ve been burning rubber all day. Until now, you haven’t slowed down long enough to hear one word from me. So take a breather already.
    “But this is like watching paint dry. Can’t you say something to the guest of honor in this parade to maybe get things moving a little faster?”
    You mean Mr. Room Temperature in the hearse up there? I’ve told you a hundred times, dollface, I can’t talk to the dead. I’m just one of ’em.
    I sighed.
    Who is this Barney in a box anyway? You know him?
    “No. But I think this is the funeral announcement I read about in this week’s Bulletin .” The Wolfe Construction bumper sticker on the last car in line had reminded me of the article.
    “I’m pretty sure this is the guy who was electrocuted on a construction job. He was young, too, still in his twenties. A real tragedy.”
    I took a closer look at the SUV in front of me, more specifically at the back of the blond man behind the wheel, and realized it was Jim Wolfe himself driving. Just thirty-five years old and running his own construction company, Wolfe had won a number of bids on construction projects around our region. He wasn’t a resident of Quindicott and he wasn’t a reader, so Sadie and I never saw him in our bookstore, but he always said hello to us on the street. (It wasn’t exactly a chore saying hello to James Wolfe. Aunt Sadie said he had the good looks of Ralph Meeker in Kiss Me Deadly . I thought he looked more like Kirk Douglas in Out of the Past , or even the Vikings —including the dimpled chin and the build to go with it.)
    So what’s your big hurry, anyway?
    “I left Sadie alone at the store. And I’m trying to get Spencer off to summer camp, and . . .” I paused. “To be frank with you, Jack, I don’t much want to stop and think today. I’m worried about Spencer going. He’ll be gone for three whole weeks. And the last time I sent him to camp, well, you know how badly it went . . .”
    Relax, honey. The kid can take care of himself. He ain’t the head case you sent off the last time.
    “I know he’s better. He’s been so happy this year at school. And he’s been looking forward to this . . .”
    So it’s all coming up roses, right?
    “Wrong. He’s not even gone and I miss him already.”
    Jack went quiet a minute. Then across my cheek I felt a gentle wisp of cool air. You’re not alone, Penelope, the ghost said softly. You got Sadie. And you got me. I’ll always be here when you need me.
    I smiled.