The Heroes

mouth and spat. ‘But calmer heads have prevailed. We’ll try peace on, see whether it chafes. Now get that bitch back to her father ’fore I change my mind and cut the bloody cross in her for the fucking exercise.’
    Craw edged for the door sideways, like a crab. ‘On my way, Chief.’

Hearts and Minds

    ‘H ow long should we spend out here, Corporal?’
    ‘As short a time as is possible without disgrace, Yolk.’
    ‘How long’s that?’
    ‘Until it’s too dark for me to see your gurning visage would be a start.’
    ‘And we patrol, do we?’
    ‘No, Yolk, we’ll just walk a few dozen strides and sit down for a while.’
    ‘Where will we find to sit that isn’t wet as an otter’s—’
    ‘Shh,’ hissed Tunny, waving at Yolk to get down. There were men in the trees on the other side of the rise. Three men, and two of them in Union uniforms. ‘Huh.’ One was Lance Corporal Hedges. A squinty, mean-spirited rat of a man who’d been with the First for about three years and thought himself quite the rogue but was no better than a nasty idiot. The kind of bad soldier who gives proper bad soldiers a bad name. His gangly sidekick was unfamiliar, probably a new recruit. Hedges’ version of Yolk, which was truly a concept too horrifying to entertain.
    They both had swords drawn and pointed at a Northman, but Tunny could tell right off he was no fighter. Dressed in a dirty coat with a belt around it, a bow over one shoulder and some arrows in a quiver, no other weapon visible. A hunter, maybe, or a trapper, he looked somewhat baffled and somewhat scared. Hedges had a black fur in one hand. Didn’t take a great mind to work it all out.
    ‘Why, Lance Corporal Hedges!’ Tunny grinned wide as he stood and strolled down the bank, his hand loose on the hilt of his sword, just to make sure everyone realised he had one.
    Hedges squinted guiltily over at him. ‘Keep out o’ this, Tunny. We found him, he’s ours.’
    ‘Yours? Where in the rule book does it say prisoners are yours to abuse because you found them?’
    ‘What do you care about the rules? What’re you doing here, I’d like to know.’
    ‘As it happens, First Sergeant Forest sent me and Trooper Yolk on patrol to make sure none of our men were out beyond the picket causing mischief. And what should I find but you, out beyond the picket and inthe process of robbing this civilian. I call that mischievous. Do you call that mischievous, Yolk?’
    ‘Well, er …’
    Tunny didn’t wait for an answer. ‘You know what General Jalenhorm said. We’re out to win hearts and minds as much as anything else. Can’t have you robbing the locals, Hedges. Just can’t have it. Contrary to our whole approach up here.’
    ‘General fucking Jalenhorm?’ Hedges snorted. ‘Hearts and minds? You? Don’t make me laugh!’
    ‘Make you laugh?’ Tunny frowned. ‘Make you
laugh
? Trooper Yolk, I want you to raise your loaded flatbow and point it at Lance Corporal Hedges.’
    Yolk stared. ‘What?’
    ‘What?’ grunted Hedges.
    Tunny threw up an arm. ‘You heard me, point your bow!’
    Yolk raised the bow so that the bolt was aimed uncertainly at Hedges’ stomach. ‘Like this?’
    ‘How else exactly? Lance Corporal Hedges, how’s this for a laugh? I will count to three. If you haven’t handed that Northman back his fur by the time I get there I will order Trooper Yolk to shoot. You never know, you’re only five strides away, he might even hit you.’
    ‘Now, look—’
    ‘One.’
    ‘Look!’
    ‘Two.’
    ‘All right! All right.’ Hedges tossed the fur in the Northman’s face then stomped angrily away through the trees. ‘But you’ll fucking pay for this, Tunny, I can tell you that!’
    Tunny turned, grinning, and strolled after him. Hedges was opening his mouth for another prize retort when Tunny coshed him across the side of the head with his canteen, which represented a considerable weight when full. It happened so fast Hedges didn’t even try to duck, just went down hard in the mud.
    ‘You’ll fucking pay for this,
Corporal
Tunny,’ he hissed, and booted Hedges in the groin to underscore the point. Then he took Hedges’ new canteen, and tucked his own badly dented one into his belt where it had been. ‘Something to keep me in your thoughts.’ He looked up at Hedges’ lanky sidekick, fully occupied gawping. ‘Anything to add, pikestaff?’
    ‘I … I—’
    ‘I? What do you think that adds? Shoot him, Yolk.’
    ‘What?’ squeaked