The Key to Midnight

I mean. You had an instant effect on her. She's always in bad shape for a few weeks or even months after she drops someone she cares for, but recently she'd reached new lows. She felt so alone, lost. You lifted her spirits overnight.'
        'If she's really so lonely… why does she keep destroying every relationship?'
        'She never wants to. But she seems compelled to shatter every hope of companionship.'
        'Has she tried therapy?'
        Mariko frowned. 'My uncle's a fine psychiatrist. I've urged her to see him about this and the nightmare, but she refuses. I worry about her all the time. At its deepest and blackest, her depression is contagious. It infects me at times, a little. If she didn't need me and if I didn't care for her so much, like my own sister, I'd have left long ago. She needs to share her life with friends, a partner. The last few months she's pushed people away harder than usual, even me to some extent. In fact, it's been so bad I'd just about decided to get out no matter what - and then you came along. Her immediate reaction to you was… Well, this time it seemed as if she might overcome her fear and form something permanent.'
        Alex shifted on the bar stool. 'Mariko-san, you're making me uneasy. You're seeing a lot more in this relationship than there really is. She doesn't love me, for heaven's sake. Love doesn't happen this fast.'
        'Don't you believe in love at first sight?'
        'That's a poet's conceit.'
        'I think it can happen,' she demurred.
        'Good luck. Fact is, I don't think I believe in love at all, much less in love at first sight.'
        She regarded him with amazement. 'Not believe in love? Then what do you call it when a man and woman-'
        'I call it lust-'
        'Not just that.'
        '-and affection, mutual dependence, sometimes even temporary insanity.'
        "That's all you've ever felt? I don't believe it.'
        He shrugged. 'It's true.'
        'Love is the only thing we can depend on in this world. To deny that it exists-'
        'Love is the last thing we can depend on. People say they're in love. But it never lasts. The only constants are death and taxes.'
        'Some men don't work,' Mariko said, 'therefore, they pay no taxes. And there are many wise men who believe in life everlasting.'
        He opened his mouth to argue but grinned instead. 'I have a hunch you're a natural-born debater. I'd better stop while I'm only slightly behind.'
        'What about Joanna?' she asked. 'Don't you care for her?'
        'Yes, of course, I do.'
        'But you don't believe in love.'
        'I like Joanna enormously. But as for love-'
        Mariko raised one hand to silence him. 'I'm sorry. This is rude of me. You've no reason to reveal so much of yourself.'
        'If I didn't want to talk, you couldn't pry a word out of me.'
        'I just wanted you to know that regardless of what you feel for her, Joanna is drawn to you. Strongly. Perhaps it's even love. That's why she rejected you so bluntly - because she's afraid of such a deep commitment.'
        As Mariko drank the last of her whiskey and got up to leave, Alex said, 'Wait. I've got to see her.'
        'Why?'
        'Because… I've got to.'
        'Lust, I suppose.'
        'Maybe.'
        'Not love, of course.'
        He said nothing.
        'Because you don't believe in love,' she said.
        He nodded.
        Mariko smiled knowingly.
        Alex didn't want to explain about Lisa Chelgrin, so he let Mariko think that, after all, he felt more for Joanna than he was willing to admit. 'It's important, Mariko-san.'
        'Come back tomorrow night. Joanna can't take off work forever.'
        'Won't you just go upstairs now and persuade her to see me?'
        'It wouldn't help. She's at her worst just after she's broken off with someone. When she's in this mood, she won't listen to me or anyone.'
        'I'll be back tomorrow.'
        'She'll be cold to you.'
        He smiled weakly. 'I’ll charm her.'
        'Other good men have given up.'
        'I won't.'
        Mariko put one hand on his arm. 'Pursue her, Alex-san. I think you need her every bit as much as she needs you.'
        She walked away from him and disappeared through the door marked PRIVATE.
        For a while after she left, Alex stared at himself in the blue mirror behind the bar.
        The Moonglow orchestra played dance