The Last Continent

sky, rolling and boiling across each other like waves on a beach, so black that in the middle they were blue, lit by occasional flashes.
    “What the hell’s that ?” said Clancy.
    The horse stood up awkwardly and stumbled to the rusted trough under the windmill.
    Under the clouds, dragging across the land, the air shimmered silver.
    Something hit Remorse’s head.
    He looked down. Something went “plut” in the red dust by his boot, leaving a little crater.
    “That is water , Clancy,” he said. “It’s bloody water dropping out of the bloody sky !”
    They stared at one another with their mouths open as, around them, the storm hit and the animals stirred and the red dust turned into mud which spattered them up to their waists.
    This was no ordinary rainstorm. This was The Wet.
    As Clancy said later, the second best bloody thing that happened that day was that they were near high ground.
    The best bloody thing was that, with all the corks on their hats, they were able to find the bloody things later on.

    There’d been debate about having this year’s regatta in Dijabringabeeralong, given the drought. But it was a tradition. A lot of people came into town for it. Besides, the organizers had discussed it long and hard all the previous evening in the bar of the Pastoral Hotel and had concluded that, no worries, she’ll be right.
    There were classes for boats pulled by camels, boats optimistically propelled by sails and, a high spot of the event, skiffs propelled by the simple expedient of the crew cutting the bottoms out, gripping the sides and running like hell. It always got a good laugh.
    It was while two teams were trotting upriver in the semi-final that the spectators noticed the black cloud pouring over Semaphore Hill like boiling jam.
    “Bushfire,” said someone.
    “Bushfire’d be white. Come on…”
    That was the thing about fire. If you saw one, everyone went to put it out. Fire spread like wildfire.
    But as they turned away there was a scream from the riverbed.
    The teams rounded the bend neck and neck, carrying their boats at a record-breaking speed. They reached the slipway, collided in their efforts to get up it, made it to the top locked together, and collapsed in splinters and screams.
    “Stop the regatta!” panted one of the coxes. “The river…the river…”
    But by then everyone could see it. Around the bend, traveling slowly because it was pushing in front of it a huge logjam of bushes, carts, rocks and trees, was the flood.
    It thundered past and the mobile dam slid on, scything the river bottom free of all obstruction. Behind it foaming water filled the river from bank to bank.
    They canceled the regatta. A river full of water made a mockery of the whole idea.

    The university’s gates had burst open and now the angry mob was in the grounds and hammering on the walls.
    Above the din, the wizards searched feverishly through the books.
    “Well, have you got something like Maxwell’s Impressive Separator?” said Ridcully.
    “What’s that do?” said Archchancellor Rincewind.
    “Unmixes two things, like…sugar and sand, for example. Uses nanny’s demons.”
    “Nano-demons, possibly,” murmured Ponder wearily.
    “Oh, like Bonza Charlie’s Beaut Sieve? Yeah, we’ve got that.”
    “Ah, parallel evolution. Fine. Dig it out, man.”
    Archchancellor Rincewind nodded at one of the wizards, and then broke into a grin.
    “Are you thinking about it working on salt?” he said.
    “Exactly! One spell, one bucket of seawater, no more problem…”
    “Er, that’s not exactly true,” said Ponder Stibbons.
    “Sounds perfect to me, man!”
    “It takes a great deal of magic, sir. And the demons take about a fortnight per pint, sir.”
    “Ah. A significant point, Mister Stibbons.”
    “Yes, sir.”
    “However, just because it wouldn’t work does not mean it was a bad idea—I wish they’d stop that shouting!”
    The shouting outside stopped.
    “Perhaps they heard you, sir,” said Ponder.
    Pang. Pang, pang …
    “Are they throwing stuff on to the roof?” said Archchancellor Rincewind.
    “No, that’s probably just rain,” said Ridcully. “Now, I suppose you’ve tried evaporating—”
    He realized that no one was listening. Everyone was looking up.
    Now the individual thuds had merged into a steady hammering and from outside came the sound of wild cheering.
    The wizards struggled in the doorway and finally fought their way outside, where water was pouring off the