The Last Hero

fast in a straight line. Although curving lines are acceptable in broken country."
    Carrot sighed. "You're just a coward really, aren't you?"
    "Yes, but I've never understood what's wrong with the idea. It takes guts to run away, you know. Lots of people would be as cowardly as me if they were brave enough."
    They looked out of the window again. The mountain was nearer.
    "According to the mission notes," said Carrot, thumbing through the sheaf of hastily written research notes that Ponder had thrust into his hand just before departure, "a number of humans have entered Dunmanifestin in the past and returned alive."
    "Returned alive per se is not hugely comforting," said Rincewind. "With their arms and legs? Sanity? All minor extremities?"
    "Mostly they were mythical characters," said Carrot, uncertainly.
    "Before or after?"
    "The gods traditionally look favourably on boldness, daring and audacity," Carrot went on.
    "Good. You can go in first."
    "Ook," said the Librarian.
    "He says we'll have to land soon," said Carrot. "Was there some position we're supposed to get into?"
    "Ook!" said the Librarian. He seemed to be fighting the levers.
    "What do you mean, 'lie on your back with your arms folded across your chest'?"
    "Eek!"
    "Didn't you watch what Leonard did when he landed us on the moon?"
    "Ook!"
    "And that was a good landing," said Rincewind. "Oh well, shame about the end of the world, but these things happen, eh?"
    Would you like a peanut? I am afraid it is a little hard to get the packet open.
    A ghostly chair hung in the air next to Rincewind. A violet flaring round the edge of his vision told him that he was suddenly in a little private time and space of his own.
    "So we are going to crash?" he said.
    Possibly. I'm afraid the uncertainty principle is making my job very difficult. How about a magazine?
    The Kite curved around and began to glide gently towards the clouds around Cori Celesti. The Librarian glared at the levers, bit one or two of them, tugged the handle of Prince Haran's Tiller and then swung himself back along the cabin and hid under a blanket.
    "We're going to land in that snowfield," said Carrot, slipping into the pilot's seat. "Leonard designed the ship to land in snow, didn't he? After all —"
    The Kite did not so much land as kiss the snow. It bounced up into the air, glided a little further, and touched down again. There were a few more skips, and then the keel was running crisply and smoothly over the snowfield.
    "Outstanding!" said Carrot. "It's just a walk in the park!"
    "You mean people are going to mug us and steal all our money and kick us viciously in the ribs?" said Rincewind. "Could be. We're heading directly towards the city. Have you noticed?"
    They stared ahead. The gates of Dunmanifestin were getting closer very quickly. The Kite breasted a snowdrift and sailed on.
    "This is not the time to panic," said Rincewind.
    The Kite hit the snow, rebounded into the air and flew through the gateway of the gods.
    Halfway through the gateway of the gods.
    "So... seven and I win," said Cohen. "It comes down showin' seven and I win, right?"
    "Yes. Of course," said Fate.
    "Sounds like a million-to-one chance to me," said Cohen.
    He tossed the die high in the air, and it slowed as it rose, tumbling glacially with a noise like the swish of windmill blades.
    It reached the top of its arc and began to fall.

Cohen was staring fixedly at it, absolutely still. Then his sword was out of its scabbard and it whirled around in a complex curve. There was a snick and a green flash in the middle of the air and...
    ... two halves of an ivory cube bounced across the table.
    One landed showing the six. The other landed showing the one.
    One or two of the gods, to the minstrel's amazement, began to applaud.
    "I think we had a deal?" said Cohen, still holding his sword.
    "Really? And have you heard the saying 'You cannot cheat Fate'?" said Fate.
    Mad Hamish rose in his wheelchair. "Ha' ye heard the sayin' 'Can yer mither stitch, pal'?" he yelled.
    As one man, or god, the Silver Horde closed up and drew its weaponry.
    "No fighting!" shouted Blind Io. "That is the rule here! We've got the world to fight in!"
    "That wasn't cheating!" Cohen growled. "Leavin' scrolls around to lure heroes to their death, that's cheatin'!"
    "But where would heroes be without magic maps?" said Blind Io.
    "Many of 'em 'd still be alive!" snapped Cohen. "Not pieces in some damn game!"
    "You cut the thing in half ," said Fate.
    "Show me