The Long Earth

the airship back to Datum. Get in touch with Selena Jones at transEarth. She’ll know what to do about the data stores on board, to synch the copy of myself back on the Datum – you see, Joshua, you will be taking me home, after a fashion. Give Selena my regards. I always fancied she saw me as something of a father figure, you know. Even though she is legally my guardian. Well, I am not yet twenty-one years old.’
    Sally said, ‘Wait – without you the
Mark Twain
has no sentience. How can it take us anywhere?’
    ‘Details, Sally! I’ll leave that as an exercise for you. And now, if you will excuse me, I have a mysterious floating collective organism to catch. Oh, one last thing – do please take care of Shi-mi …’
    And with that he retreated through his blue door, for the last time.

49
    WITH LOBSANG DISPATCHED to his strange close encounter, the remaining crew of the
Mark Twain
watched the wake of the traveller until she disappeared from view, long before reaching the horizon. The honour guard of animals, birds and fish flew, dived and undulated away.
    The show was over. The carnival had left town. The spell had been broken. And Joshua could feel something had gone from the world.
    He stared at Sally, and felt the bewilderment he saw in her face. He said, ‘First Person Singular scared me. And there were times when Lobsang scared me, though for different reasons. The thought of the two of them together, and what they might become …’
    She shrugged. ‘We’ve done our best to save the trolls.’
    ‘And humanity,’ he pointed out gently.
    ‘So what do we do now?’
    ‘Have lunch, I’d suggest,’ Joshua said, and he headed for the galley.
    A few minutes later Sally was grasping a brimming mug of coffee as if it were a lifeline. ‘And did you notice? The traveller
steps
underwater. That’s a new one.’
    Joshua nodded. He thought, that’s right, start by asking the little questions – sort out the small problems first, rather than get overwhelmed by the cosmic mysteries. Or even by the problem of how they were going to get home, although he was starting to have an idea about that. ‘You know, some of those creatures inside her hull, which must have come from very remote worlds, looked familiar. I mean, one of those floating things looked like a large kangaroo! The cameras have been running. We can check through the footage together. The naturalists will have a field day …’
    There was a soft sound in the doorway. Joshua looked down to see Shi-mi. She was indeed a most elegant cat, robotic or not.
    And she spoke.
    ‘Number of mice and mice-like rodents put into the vivarium for redeployment when we reach the ground: ninety-three. Numbers harmed: zero. It is said that with a stout heart a mouse can lift an elephant but not, I am glad to say, on this ship.’ The cat looked expectantly at both of them. Her voice was soft, feminine – human, but somehow suggestive of cat.
    ‘Oh, good grief.’
    Joshua murmured, ‘Be nice, Sally. Shi-mi – thank you.’
    The cat waited patiently for further response.
    ‘I didn’t know you could speak,’ Joshua ventured.
    ‘There was previously no need. My reports were made to Lobsang through a direct interface. And the rubbish we speak is like froth on the water; actions are drops of gold.’
    Sally turned her glance slightly sideways, a warning sign in Joshua’s experience. ‘Where did that proverb come from?’
    ‘Tibet,’ said Shi-mi.
    ‘You’re not some avatar of Lobsang, are you? I did hope we’d got rid of him.’
    The cat looked up from licking her paw. ‘No. Although I too am a gel-based personality. Adapted for light conversation, proverbs, rodent securement and incidental chit-chat with a thirty-one per cent bias towards cynicism. I am of course a prototype, but will shortly be one of a new line of pets available from the Black Corporation. Tell your friends. And now if you will excuse me, my work is as yet incomplete.’ The cat walked out.
    When she was gone, Joshua said, ‘Well, you have to admit it’s better than a mousetrap.’
    Sally was irritated. ‘Just when I think this
Titanic
of yours can’t get any more ridiculous … Are we still over the ocean?’
    Joshua glanced out of the nearest port. ‘Yes.’
    ‘We should turn around. Head back to shore.’
    ‘We’ve already turned,’ said Joshua. ‘I set the controls after we let down Lobsang. We started back thirty minutes ago.’
    ‘Are you sure that swimming robot