The Lost Boy

could wish for – a
life
and the love of my
son.
Stephen and I are a
family.

Perspectives on Foster Care
David Pelzer
    Foster Child

    There is not a doubt in my mind that had I stayed with my biological mother much longer, I would have definitely been killed. Foster care was not only an escape, but literally a whole new world. At times it was extremely difficult to adjust, for I never quite knew what to expect.
    As an adult survivor, I am forever grateful to “The System” that so many in society ridicule without mercy. It would have been easy for me to exploit the weakness of social services and foster care and all that they entail. That was
never
the premise of the story, but rather to take the reader into a world rarely seen by the general public – through the eyes of a tortured, programmed-to-fail child who is “placed” into the care of others.
    My social worker, Ms Gold, stays etched in my mind simply because of her genuine concern for
my
safety and security. Though I thought retracting my statements within days of my disposition was unique to my case, this is an everyday occurrence for most of those who work in her field. Very few people truly know what Child Protective Service workers go through.
    There are many who believe that social workers are nothing more than homewreckers who barge into a private residence and pluck a child from the arms of a loving parent. Or that they
never
respond to a
real
case involving child abuse. The reality of the situation is far more horrifying. In 1973, in California, I was among several thousand cases reported. Twenty years later the same state reported more than 616, 000 cases.
    There are too few social workers available to respond to the never-ending siege of “youth at risk.” For them, it is a matter of triage – a minor who is in harm’s way the most receives immediate attention first. Then, once a report is under investigation,
no
information can be given to the general public on the status of the case, which causes stress to those who dared to file the report in the first place and who in turn may surmise that social services never follows through. Again, the operating principle of social services is to preserve the privacy, safety and security of the
minor.
Needless to say, burnout plays a major role for these angels – whose
sole
purpose is that of saving the life of a child.
    As for my foster parents,
they
made me the person I am today.
They
took in a heap of hideous mass and transformed a terrified child into a functional, responsible human being. I owe each of them so much. Unfortunately for them, I put my foster parents through absolute hell – especially the Catanzes, during my critical “adjustment phase.” They saved me from almost certain doom. The Turnboughs were a godsend, with something so simple as teaching me how to walk, talk and act like a
normal
child, while assuring me that I was worthy and could overcome any challenge that life had to offer.
    This is the work _that foster parents _ do!
    As an adult I will never understand why _these _ people put up with so much. One can barely fathom what it is like to deal with a child who came from a past like mine, let alone the half a dozen other foster children residing in the average foster home.
    And yet the general public rarely, if ever, hears of the love and compassion for what some folks dub
F-parents –
as if the words
foster parent
belonged to a deadly epidemic. These same individuals may assume that foster parents “are only doing it for the money, ” that foster parents are nothing more than parental mercenaries, making a profit off of society’s ills. If this is true, then why is it that over 65 percent of the foster parents in Iowa end up adopting their foster children, thus making the foster parents ineligible for financial assistance? Like most foster parents, they fall victim to the emotion of love. To be adopted is the highest honor bestowed on a child who longs to become a member of a family.
    But society is never made aware of those stories. It appears that foster parents only receive attention when a child is hurt while under the guardianship of foster care. The press clamors to “inform” the public of a child victim becoming victimized again. Investigations are made, and it is most likely that the foster parents in question may not have been suited as foster parents. An obvious answer! Because of such publicity, the question brought up by many is, has “The