The Men in her Life

while Jack was alive...’
    ‘That’s probably true,’ Mo admitted.
    ‘So, are you glad Jack died, so that you could marry him?’ Holly’s voice was rising.
    ‘Of course I’m not... but just because I held a candle for Jack all his life, I don’t see why I should go on now...’
    The logic was irrefutable.
    ‘Don’t you think it’s a bit soon,’ Holly tried another tactic, ‘you’re still in shock...’
    ‘I’m not in shock.’
    ‘How do you know?’ Holly asked, then, seeing the exasperated expression on Mo’s face, changed her tactics. ‘Well, that doesn’t matter, I suppose. Why the hurry?’ she asked as patiently as she could.
    ‘Why not?’
    ‘You’ve known each other long enough...’
    ‘Well, perhaps we’re making up for lost time...’
    ‘Don’t be daft.’
    ‘Is it being daft to want to be with someone who cares about you and makes you happy?’ Mo asked.
    ‘If the person in question happens to be Eamon, yes.’
    ‘You little cow,’ Mo said.
    Holly’s eyes filled with tears.
    ‘Little?’ she said, trying to make a joke to mask the sting of the remark. ‘I’m nearly six feet tall and I’m thirty-six years old.’
    ‘Well, behave like it then,’ Mo told her, getting up to leave.
    ‘I can’t believe you went ahead and did something like that without asking me...’ Holly felt wounded, furious, hurt. She stamped her foot.
    ‘Holly, I’m happy. Why aren’t you pleased for me?’ Mo said, fighting tears herself.
    ‘Because I know that you’re settling for second-best...’
    ‘What good did first best do me?’
    ‘That’s not a reason to settle...’ Holly insisted. ‘Why?’ Mo asked her simply and turned to go.
    With horror, Holly heard the turn of the key in the lock downstairs and the sound of Matt taking the steps three by three. She tried to compose herself. He was a friend, perhaps she should say the son of a friend, no, she remembered with relief, he was Ella’s boyfriend. Mo knew about Ella coming to stay. If she just held her nerve she need not lie. Matt was Ella’s boyfriend who was staying for a while in London .
    ‘Hi sexy,’ Matt said, leaning forward to kiss her. In his hand there was an ice lolly in a brightly-coloured cartoon wrapper. He looked about fourteen.
    Mo looked, looked harder, then looked away.
    ‘Mo, this is Matt...’
    ‘Hello Matt,’ Mo said and Holly heard the echo of her teenage years when she had brought boys back to the flat for tea so that Mo could cast her critical eye over them. It occurred to her that Mo had never met any of her grown-up boyfriends. The relationships usually finished before the time had come to introduce her mother. For Mo, it must seem as if nothing had changed, not even the age of the boys.
    Holly suddenly saw her lover through Mo’s eyes. A precocious teenager with an ice lolly. She felt ashamed of herself.
    ‘I was just on my way out,’ Mo said. The look she gave Holly was a horrible mixture of distaste and pity, and then she walked down the stairs.
    ‘Why the hell did you do that?’ Holly asked.
    ‘Do what?’
    ‘Kiss me in front of my mother?’ She felt a fool as soon as she said it.
    He looked bewildered.
    ‘Mo’s your mother?’
    ‘Who did you think she was?’
    ‘A friend. How should I know?’
    Suddenly Holly realized that to him anyone over the age of twenty was old. He couldn’t distinguish between thirty-five and fifty-five.
    ‘I bought you something,’ Matt told her.
    ‘Oh?’ Holly always brightened at the prospect of a present.
    ‘Get your clothes off...’
    ‘Oh, look, I’ve just had a bit of an emotional thing with my mother…’
    ‘You need relaxing then...’ With his body he pushed her back into her bedroom and down onto the bed.
    Holly watched him as he unpeeled the wrapping from the ice lolly.
    ‘Get your knickers off,’ he said, watching her as he licked the drips of melting lolly from his fingers, and she realized what he was intending to do.
    It was as if a switch inside her tripped, instantly shutting her erotic feelings down. She sat up and crossed her legs. They had done all manner of things with a tub of Haagen Dazs, but the lolly was so clearly suggestive it turned her off. She wouldn’t have minded so much if it had been pure fruit juice, she thought, but it was one of those virulently-coloured stripey things in the shape of a rocket.
    ‘Look, Matt, it’s been good fun, but it’s got to end,’ she heard a very sensible-sounding voice