The Misadventures of the Laundry Hag 00 - Swept Under the Rug

Penny’s questioned so softly, I barely heard it over the erectile dysfunction commercial blaring from the television. I clicked the set off.
    “Josh was two years, nine months and Kenny not even a year old. Their mother was….well, let’s say she was a piece of work and leave it at that. My mother raised me better than to speak ill of the dead.”
    Penny sucked in a breath, clearly at a loss for words.
    “Yeah, so there I am, never having been around babies before, not a clue in the world as to what I should do. Neil was a wreck; she’d really messed with his head, you know? And as a Navy SEAL the amount of time he was around the kids was already limited, never mind custody arrangements and restraining orders. So I literally had no clue, no help, nowhere to turn.”
    She swallowed. “So what did you do?”
    I shrugged. “The only thing I could do, I dealt. “ I smiled, remembering. “Neil didn’t like me at first. In fact, he hated me.”
    Penny’s jaw dropped. “You’re kidding. You guys are, like, made for each other.”
    “Thank you. But neither one of us realized it at the time.”
    “So, what happened?”
    The front door opened and a sullen Josh tramped through, followed by his equally perturbed father.
    “That’s a story for another time.” I told Penny, rising to my feet.
    Neil nudged his son into the room. Josh cast him a black look, then focused on his tattered shoelaces. “I’m sorry, Mom.”
    “A man looks a person in the eye.” Neil informed him.
    Josh looked up and I almost took a step back from the righteous indignation etched on his face. “I apologize for what I said earlier.”
    Typically, my first instinct was to shout, but every so often cool reasoning triumphed. “You hurt my feelings.”
    The cold look melted away and he shifted his weight.
“I think I’ll go get dinner started.” Penny stood with facile grace and made for shelter. I made a get outta here motion with my head to Neil and he nodded once before exiting silently.
    “Talk to me, Josh. Did something happen at school?”
    He didn’t respond, so I pulled him over to the couch. “I can’t defend myself if I don’t know what happened to set you off.”
    His lip trembled and the words spilled out like a tsunami. “Sammy calls you Mother Mayhem. He said nothing bad ever happened until we moved here. Now, there’s all this stuff about people being killed or kidnapped and houses burning down and you’re always involved. I kept telling him it wasn’t your fault; that you just happened to be wherever and know whoever. And then you get arrested!” Betrayal glinted at me from his green eyes.
    “Aw, crap.” I groaned and sat back. “Let me guess, Sammy’s dad is a police officer.”
    Josh swiped at a few escaped tears. “His mom, too. So Sammy knows what he’s talking about.”
    “Bull,” I told Josh. He might have heard that I was involved with a few incidents but I’m absolutely positive stuff happened here before I made the scene. And I was working with the police, remember? I’ve been trying to help fight crime, just like your dad did.”
    Inspiration struck. “Hey, pal, you know how Dad was always being sent to poverty riddled countries, places with terrorist and war all sorts of bad stuff? Did the whole country get together and say, “Hey, Neil Phillips is coming, let’s tear this place up!”
    Josh giggled and sniffed. “That’s stupid.”
    “Exactly. You can’t go blaming one person for the world’s problems. Well, I guess you could , but that means you’re delusional.”
    This time the eye roll was playfully exasperated. “Mo-om,”
    “What I’m trying to explain here is that I’ve ticked off some people around here, Sammy’s folks among them. But is it right that they’re spending their time griping about me when there are really criminals out there?”
    “No, it isn’t.” Josh scowled. “I’ll tell him that next time he opens his stupid mouth.”
    “Nuh-uh. You’ll smile and walk away. Some people are just mean and petty and you can’t win with them. So don’t play his game, okay. You’re better than that.” I kissed his forehead. “And don’t say stupid.”
    The doorbell chimed. “Why don’t you go get changed and start on your homework?”
    Josh nodded and I pulled my coat on, pretty sure my house didn’t need another police interruption today.
    “I was just on my way out.” I told detective Capri as I pushed past her, securing the door so she wouldn’t