The Private Eye

emerged in a bathrobe and slippers.
    “Right on time. Colonel.”
    The Colonel looked up, alarmed. Then he scowled ferociously, his mustache twitching. “What the devil do you think you're doing, young man?” he demanded in a soft growl.
    “I wanted to talk to you privately,” Josh murmured. “I figured this would be the best time to catch you. Besides, I figure after that little stunt the three of you pulled on Maggie yesterday morning, a little rough justice was in order.”
    “Stunt?”
    “The timing was a little too perfect to be sheer coincidence. All three of you emerged from your rooms simultaneously. It was a neat little ambush, Colonel, and you might as well admit it. I decided to set my own this morning.”
    The Colonel sighed. “Odessa and I have always been so discreet. How did you find out?”
    “I'm an early riser. And I've got real good hearing.” Josh grinned. “Hey, I know just how you feel. Come on downstairs-I've already got the coffee going. Heck, I'll even fry us a couple of eggs, Me, I've been sleeping the sleep of your typical chaste and gallant gentleman, but I'll bet you've worked up quite an appetite.”
    “No respect for your elders. That's what's wrong with your generation. If you'd served, under me. I’d have straightened you out in that department.” The Colonel tightened the tie on his bathrobe and followed Josh toward the stairs. “You won't, uh, mention this to Maggie, will you?”
    “Why? You afraid she might demand that you do the right thing?” Josh shot the Colonel a dry look.
    The older man had the grace to blush. “I suppose I did rather put you on the spot yesterday morning, didn't I?”
    “You sure as hell did. And I don't mind telling you it was lousy timing. Colonel. Because of your little surprise foray, I damn near lost the war.”
    The Colonel eyed him sharply. “What do you mean by that?”
    “I mean,” Josh said, “that the business of playing the heavy-handed patriarch outside my bedroom door has made Maggie skittish. She's spent the past twenty-four hours thinking up reasons why she can't marry me. You'd be amazed at her creativity.”
    “Can't marry you?” The Colonel glared at him as they reached the bottom step and headed for the kitchen, “Why can't she marry you? See here, you haven't already got a wife and half a dozen kids stashed away somewhere, have you? Because if so, sir, I can personally assure you that I will not tolerate this behavior of yours.”
    “No wife and no kids.” Josh went into the kitchen, which was already smelling nicely of freshly
    brewed coffee. He grabbed the pot and filled two mugs. “But you rushed things yesterday morning. Maggie's nervous now. I've got a job ahead of me, undoing the damage you did.”
    “Nonsense.” The Colonel accepted his mug and sat down at the small table. “She'll come around. You just see to it you do what's right and proper by her. She's a small-town girl at heart. Kind of oldfashioned in a lot of ways, And don't you forget it.”
    “My intentions are honorable,” Josh drawled. He sipped his coffee and watched the Colonel carefully. “They have been from the start. Which is more than I can say about yours, isn't it?”
    The Colonel's head came up proudly and his eyes flashed. “What the devil is that supposed to mean?
    Now see here, if you're talking about my intentions toward Odessa, you can apologize at once. My intentions toward her always have been and always will be honorable.”
    “They why haven't you married the lady?” Josh asked calmly.
    The Colonel heaved a sigh. “It's that damn gold-mining stock of hers. I'm afraid she'll think I'm marrying her to get my hands on it. I've got my pride, sir.”
    “Have you considered going to a lawyer and getting a prenuptial contract that would protect her assets?”
    “I raised the subject once. Delicately, you understand. But my Odessa is a romantic at heart. She doesn't care for the notion of prenuptial agreements.”
    Josh decided to take a chance. “How about if I told you that Odessa's stock isn't worth the paper it's printed on?”
    The Colonel looked shocked. “Are you certain of that, sir?”
    “I had someone research it back at the office. I wanted to check out Odessa's theory that her nephews were after the stock. The mining company she bought twenty years ago went bankrupt nineteen years ago. The mine was never worth a damn thing.”
    “I've always wondered about that stock. She never seemed to get any